Yet another iCloud with multiple Apple IDs question

I have a Mac, iPhone 3G, and an iPad 2. My wife has an iPod. I have historically synced via the desktop, and my music, calendar, contacts, etc. have shared just fine. I have a Mobile Me account which may or may not be doing anything for me. I understand it's going away anyhow.
Two of my devices share the same Apple ID, and one has a different ID. I don't know what my wife's iPod has for an Apple ID. One of the Apple IDs is a @me.com address.
I have set things up for iCloud, trying to have my calendar, photos, etc. come alive at once like they do in the commercials. After hours reading others' frustrations on here, I still am unsure how to proceed.
I can't change my @me.com AppleID because that is apparently against the rules. I can't add my other email address as a secondary address, because I am informed that that address is already verified as being in use (of course it is, by me). It won't let me change my other Apple ID to an @me.com address because that is also apparently against the rules.
Is there ANY solution that let's me keep syncing my music, plus let's me sync my calendar, contacts, photos, etc. in the Cloud? I don't want to lose any of my current information.

Thanks for the quick reply.  I don't think it helps me.
My Mac and iphone have the same Apple ID.  I innocently created a different AppleID when I bought my iPad. ([email protected]).  I want them to sync automatically. They don't because they have different "clouds."
I don't want to have to log in to sync everything.  If that were the case, I would just go on syncing every night via the Mac. Is there a way to get to where my iPad syncs with the other two?
Am I missing something simple here?

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