Yet another Itunes 8.2 predicament

I've read a lot of posts on here & elsewhere about problems with 8.2, but haven't seen this one yet.
Although iTunes seems to run a bit more slowly than before, it nevertheless appears to run smoothly... unless my ipod is plugged in.
If I start iTunes with the iPod plugged in, or plug in the iPod once iTunes is already running, it attempts to verify the iPod... and freezes. As if that weren't bad enough, iTunes then somehow fails to force-quit. It disappears from the screen and from Activity Manager, but remains in the Dock as if it were running. All attempts to force-quit fail. Then, if I don't shut down my computer soon, other programs begin to fail in the same way - it's happened to Firefox, and to two programs I found to try and replace iTunes until this gets fixed: Songbird and Floola. All showed the same behavior, after iTunes went down.
The icing on the cake - once this series of failed force-quits has begun, my computer will not restart or shut down. It goes to blue screen, then hangs. I have to force-shut down the computer any time this happens.
I guess I'm not looking for a fix, just want to see if anyone else has experienced this. BTW, before you ask, Disk Utility verifies the iPod drive, so I don't think the problem's there.
I know no one of consequence from Apple itself will read this, but I have to say... I've been an Apple user for 20 years now, but for them to work so hard to entice consumers into this closed-off ecosystem of interconnected hardware and software... and then release such a patently buggy and malfunctioning version of the software at the very heart of that entire ecosystem (I don't just mean my problem, but all the issues I've read about)... makes me wonder just who's running the show anymore, and if they're worth my time and money. All releases tend to have a few issues to be worked out, that's understandable; but this is just beyond the pale. This is just patently disrespectful to consumers. For shame, Apple.

I too have been a loyal Mac user for close to 2 decades. In the early years they were rock solid & upgrades received thorough testing before being released.
Oh for those early years. We mac users were smug with the knowledge that for the most part, frustration & serious issues were the domain of windows users.
Sad to say but I really don't see the difference these days. Bit by bit, Apple has taken on the same approach as Windows, that is, get it out there & let them tell you where the problems are. That would be fine if we paid windows prices but as everybody well knows, Apple is a premium product with supposedly superior, reliable performance. At least that's what the ads are still claiming.
How else to explain an itunes 8 upgrade that destroyed all my music files?
That's a bug the size of Godzilla and as this discussion group has shown, it
sure ain't an isolated case.
I know that itunes is free but we certainly pay for it with all the hardware & software that we pay a high dollar for.
Fortunately I had a backup library on another drive but even that less than a smooth process. I chose to just drag the entire library, folders & all into the empty library that had been deleted. Turns out some files copied ok while some didn't copy at all which meant that I had to manually go through all the songs to check & copy all those that were missing.
The problem is fixed but I'm still mighty peeved about the whole experience and the lost time.
I have refused to upgrade from 10.4.11 because of difficulties others had reported on upgrading.This itunes fiasco has convinced me to stay put. I fully agree with your end thought, Apple should be ashamed.

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