How can I automatically make images square?

Question

I'd like to, using actions (preferable to scripts), automatically make images a square. Here's what I want to do (I'm on CC, so I have conditional actions available to me):
(IF
     ([IMAGE SIZE] HEIGHT = [IMAGE SIZE] WIDTH),
   THEN
     (DO NOTHING/RUN UNRELATED ACTION),
   ELSE
     (IF
          ([IMAGE SIZE] HEIGHT > [IMAGE SIZE] WIDTH),
        THEN
          ([CANVAS SIZE] WIDTH = [CANVAS SIZE] HEIGHT),
        ELSE
          ([CANVAS SIZE] HEIGHT = [CANVAS SIZE] WIDTH)))
The way I was thinking I'd go about this is:
Have a conditional action for the first if statement (Called "Square")
Have a conditional action for the second if statement (Called "Square 2")
Have an action that does whatever I want it to do once the document is square (Called "BlahBlah")
Have an action that will bump Canvas Height up to Canvas Width if Canvas Width is bigger, and then does "BlahBlah" as part of the action (Or rather, will make a Landscape image square) (Called "Landscape")
Have an action that will bump Canvas Width up to Canvas Height if Canvas Height is bigger, and then does "BlahBlah" as part of the action (Or rather, will make a Portrait image square) (Called "Portrait")
"Square":     IF Document is Square, THEN PLAY ACTION "BlahBlah", ELSE PLAY ACTION "Square2"
"Square2":   IF Document is Landscape, THEN PLAY ACTION "Landscape", ELSE PLAY ACTION "Portrait"
"Landscape": (Width > Height) Canvas Size -> Width = x, Height = y -> Width = x, Height = x
"Portrait": (Height > Width) Canvas Size -> Width = x, Height = y -> Width = y, Height = y
"BlahBlah": Whatever I want it to do next
Is this possible with actions? If not, is it possible with Scripts? How would I go about doing that?
Thanks in advance!

Answer 1

You may want to look at IrfanView freeware.
I can add canvas to square, resize, add watermark, and convert to jpg.
300,000 images in groups of 10,000 in a few hours.