HT1386 Why does iphone sync not merge data?

Data from iCal goes from Mac to iPhone but not the other way. This is a new phenomenon as it has always worked in the past, so I am certain that I set it up to merge originally, but I don't know how to check that it hasn't been reset somehow nor how to correct it. Help welcome before I have to start entering stuff manually twice.
Thanks

Then you may have to reset your sync services folder as discussed here: http://support.apple.com/kb/TS1627.  (Although this article refers to MobileMe, it also applys to syncing devices such as you phone.).  This erases your sync history (but not your data), and your mac will see your next sync as your first ever so you should get a merge or replace prompt for calendars and contacts when you sync.  Be careful about selecting merge or you may get duplicates.  Also, you will have to reset your iTunes sync settings as discussed at the bottom of this guide.  Finally, prior to connecting your phone, open iTunes and go to Preferences>Devices and check "Prevent...from syncing automatically" so that you can connect your phone and reset your sync settings prior to syncing your phone.

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