ITunes update caused my iPhone to FAIL. I was only wishing to connect to my pc iTunes, then I was told I could upgrade to the latest iTunes for the mobile. Bad idea! I'm abroad, and now I'm stuck in grey screen-- how can I get my iPhone back?

Please help me, I am verging on desperation! I am flying tomorrow, so I was only trying to add some music to my iPhone.
During the process, connected to the latest version of iTunes for Windows, I was asked a seemingly innocent question-- would you like to
update your iTunes for iPhone?  If only I could go back and ignore this question,
   But no, I am now stuck in purgatory-- no use of iPhone, at al! -- the upgrade FAILED. Perhaps because I'm in Asia? At any rate,
I was told that I needed to reformat my phone to factory settings (losing all data!) That was the info on the pc. My phone would ONLY display
a phone cord pointing to iTunes (beckoning to connect), but I was connected to the pc already. So I had to click to reformat.
   There was no other option, I browsed tha forums, was semi-assured that iCloud would help back me up. I heard about iTools,
but that also proved a dead end.  My phone ended up in this grey screen, where choices are limited. They originally asked if I wanted to connect
with iTunes, but I chose WIFI. I tried many times to "activate" the phone this way, and it always fails. ( I wanted to try activating through
iTunes, but I can't go back to that original option. At times "Connect with iTunes" is only very briefly shown, but disappers before I can select
it.)
  Every time I'm left with the message "Your iPhone (failed) bec. the activation server is temporarily unavailable. Try connecting phone to iTunes"
But HOW?

Why did you disconnect it?
You will have to restore it.
Your data is gone if you failed to make sure it was on your computer before updating, as you always should you.

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