Cannot get songs out of itunes library

This is an very complex problem and if you can solve it you are a legend. I have spent an hour on the phone to apple tech support with no luck.
I have donwloaded some songs I do not want. They were directly downloaded to my iphone. Now when I delete them from iTunes library they transfer back when I sync. I have tried everything. I have changed settings so that when I sync only selected playlists sync. I was then planing to delete them from iTunes when they were no longer on the phone and porblem solved. Believe it or not, despite my phone only showing one playlist (the one I selected) which did not contain any of the songs I want to get rid of, the album (the dreaded Christmas album) still comes up when you look in albums on the iphone. How is this possible?
This is all connected up in the icloud, is this why it keeps popping up? I need to stop purchases from transferrring to the iTunes library so that I can sync a library that does not contain the offending album and thus remove them from the phone. I don't want 100 Christmas songs on my phone.
Yes I have tried unchecking the songs and telling iTunes to only sync checked songs. This did not work either.
I have wasted a lot of time on this, please save me.

I was able to get the third playlist in the correct order.  I had to change the arrow direction over the number column, and then drag and drop the songs back in the order I wanted them, and then synced, and now it seems to be ok.

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