Disasterous email problems since switched from Eudora to Mail

On Feb. 1 I switched my broadband from Clear wireless to Comcast and my email client from Eudora to Mac Mail due to its allowing different port settings for my 2 personal email addresses which are forwarded and my business address which is not. I had occasional problems of not receiving certain emails but not constant. Now I figure about a quarter of my emails incoming and outgoing are disappearing forever without any bounce back messages. I even set up exclusive new email addresses on my server for a couple of my writers, some of whose mail I failed to get. Even one of those emails was lost. My business is threatened. Help!
I have received conflicting advice from AppleCare, Comcast, my hosting firm and others. Neither Comcast nor my hosting co. are filtering anything, according to them. Emails I fail to receive never get to the server - they are supposedly lost somewhere out there. My senders are not blocking mail because most of my msgs and theirs get thru. Lost emails never appear in the Junk folder. I use POP, Authorization, not SSL. My hosting says I should use Port 26 for outgoing; they won't say what to use for incoming. AppleCare says to use Port 110 for outgoing on my personal email addresses and to use the ISP that forwards them for the Incoming: mail.aracnet.com We still use Eudora on the MacBook so it's difficult to compare and test Mail settings.
I'm trying to work with Eudora Mailbox Cleaner to get my Address Book properly copied over. Mac Mail totally wrecked it, but I don't know how to delete that bad import first.

Really appreciate your assistance! My hosting people are being no help at all. I'm very familiar with "edit server list" - have been there often. It is my hosting person who tells me their logs show that none of the various emails I failed to receive on the first sending - for which I expand the headings and forwarded to him - have ever reach their server and therefore something's going wrong "out there" and they're not responsible. He even just suggested I sign up with gmail for my email service since I've been so much trouble to him. I've had an email address on my own server for ten years now - [email protected] - and don't want to change it!
I corrected the terrible instructions I got from AppleCare and reversed my incoming and outgoing server settings to audaud.com for regular email and to mail.aracnet.com SMPT for my two personal email addresses I want to send thru Aracnet. (and am paying them to forward them to the audaud.com server). However, when I just tried to reply to an email I received to [email protected] I got a warning I never saw before: (Thought I could attach a screenshot of it but can't seem to) It says "cannot send the message using the server audaud.com." Yet a few minutes later I sent an email to several of the writers for my site and it was sent. The settings were the same!
My hosting people told me to use Port 26 for sending but they refuse to tell me which port to use for INCOMING mail (using POP). Maybe the port settings are fouling me up, but why do they cause problems only part of the time? I don't use SSL.
Doesn't everyone receive via their email client "all the emails that get to the server?" Again: any directions on deleting the non-working import of the Eudora Address Book and doing it again properly with Eudora Mailbox cleaner?

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