Finicky e-mail is driving me crazy. Please help.

I have an iphone 3G. I live in Japan and got the iphone through a Japanese cellphone service. Each cell phone in Japan has it’s own personal e-mail address, and e-mailing has always been quick and efficient: someone sends you an e-mail it goes to your phone immediately. I would assume that would be the case with the iphone, but it’s not. It’s really finicky and it’s really driving me up the wall. Here’s how receiving e-mail usually works for me:
1) A message pops up on my screen telling me I have an e-mail.
2) I go to my inbox, and the iphone begins connecting (I get the connecting message).
3) It stays that way for a minute or two then the connecting message goes away. I press the reload button to check for new mail, but the phone does nothing.
4) I move to a different folder, such as drafts or sent, and the iphone begins connecting again.
5) I then back out and go back to my inbox. After another minute, my new message is finally downloaded.
Before people start suggesting this: There is nothing wrong with my connection. I have full bars and internet browsing works fast and fine. It has always been like this even after updating or restarting as many people suggest to alleviate e-mail problems.
Is there any thing I can do about this? Are there any mail applications that work better? Is it too much to ask for my phone to get my e-mail without me having to dance around like this? Thanks.
Message was edited by: nikkuchan

If it's an imap account the phone get's notified of the email arriving but it still needs to download it when you choose to read/view it which is where your lag is coming from, see if the imap account supports push, if it does when the email arrives it will be sent to your phone straight away (when the alert sounds) and won't wait for you to open the inbox before retrieving it so no lag. I use MobileMe for this and a couple of other accounts and have never experienced any sort of lag i get the email alert i open mail it goes to the inbox and the mail is sitting there ready to be read. In regard to this if it's still happening even with push could be at the email providers end but this wouldn't be all that likely

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