How do I ask home sharing to not copy duplicate files?

I don't know if there's a good solution for this but here is what's happened to me.
I got my new iMac a couple of months ago and I dragged my entire iTunes folder on to my new machine. This unfortunately gave me two copies of almost everything somehow so I selected show duplicates and I deleted them. This deleted not only the doubles but also all the songs with the same name even if they were in different albums. For example, a song on a full length album and a the same song on an EP were both deleted.
So this is what I want. I want to use home sharing to copy the missing songs from my old computer to my new one without bringing over copies of things that are already on the new computer, like when you being to import duplicates into iPhoto and it asks you if you want to import the duplicates or not?
Is there any way to get iTunes/Homesharing to do this?

The short answer: because Home Sharing isn't designed for sharing apps, and apps aren't designed to be shared.
The longer answer:  Think of it like this...
You download some music in iTunes.  With Home Sharing, another user can listen to it by streaming it over the network.  But the data itself is on your computer.  If you turn off the computer or take it off the network, the other user can't access it.
But if you send another user the app, they aren't just streaming the data- they installed it on their iOS device.  Because they weren't the one that purchased it, such a transfer could easily be considered "piracy" or "stealing," and nobody likes that (least of all, Apple). 
When iTunes sees this app, it obviously recognized it, as if saying, "Hey, how did you get this app on your device, if I have no record of you purchasing/downloading it from the iTunes store?"
post edited to correct spelling errors

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