How do I prevent Mail from automatically sending iCal acceptances?

I am using Apple Mail 4.6 on Snow Leopard. I have multiple email accounts in Mail (personal, work, etc.) When I accept an iCal invitation, Mail automatically sends the email response without allowing me to review the email contents or the "From" address. This can lead to embarrassing situations if the email is sent from my personal account. Very uncool.
The only workaround I have found is to make my work account the "default" account by dragging it to the top of my account list. But this isn't foolproof as Mail apparently uses the address of any currently selected Inbox or message as the From address, so I have to make sure to deselect any messages in Mail before I click "Accept" in iCal. But now if I receive an invitation to my personal calendar, my acceptance will be sent from my work address. Also not cool.
Is there a better, more reliable way to control the "From" address in an iCal acceptance?
Or can I prevent Mail from sending this acceptance email automatically? Ideally, I would like Mail to put an unsent iCal acceptance in Drafts or Outbox so I can review and edit the message before sending. But the Drafts and Outbox mailboxes seem to be just chimera, always disappearing. (In fact, I tried creating and sending a message while offline and it just disappeared. Didn't even go to Drafts. When I went back online, the message went "swoosh" from some unknown location. Not very smart design, Apple.)

It looks like the only way to address this problem is by using this 3rd party software:
iCal Reply Checker
http://www.nhoj.co.uk/icalreplychecker/
Does anyone know of an Apple-native solution?

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