How to sync music/video from 1 computer and contacts/calendar from another?

I have set iTune's iPhone preferences on both computers to "Disable automatic syncing for all iPhones".
On my laptop, I have only checked synchronization for contacts (address book) and calendar. On my Mac Pro, I have only checked music and video.
In spite of these settings, when I sync to the laptop, all my music and video is deleted from the iPhone! The settings are still set correctly: music and videos are completely unchecked on the laptap iTunes synchronization settings.
The only workaround is to re-sync to the Mac Pro to pick up the music/video, after syncing my contacts/calendar on the laptap. But this takes forever because all the music has to be reloaded. Not only that, but I cannot sync iPhone to laptop while on the road without giving up all of my music and video.
Does anybody out there know if this is a bug? Is there a workaround? Or is there some other hidden setting I am not aware of to control this?
Thanks!

IIn my original post above, I said "I cannot sync iPhone to laptop while on the road without giving up all of my music and video". So while your suggestion for the opposite sync works, that doesn't solve my problem.
When I am not at home, especially on a trip, I have my laptop with me and my iPhone. All my contacts are in the laptop but while out and about I am entering contacts and syncing them later to the laptop, but that ends up deleting the music, including MY MUSIC which is the point of the trip: being able to share my compositions with anyone, anywhere and capturing contacts as I go.
Yes, syncing on my laptop for contacts only and then on the tower for music works but that simply is a useless type of sync for me, because while on the road, I would have to choose between backing up my new contacts and wiping out all music OR not syncing contacts while on the road and hoping the iPhone doesn't get messed (which has happened twice now so this is a reasonable fear) in order to keep my music.
I do appreciate your suggestion and those instructions could be useful for someone else who needs the opposite of the sync I need.
Now I understand why some people say it works and others say it doesn't: it depends on which computer gets sync'd first!
At this point, I can only write a letter to Apple and request that they fix this problem in the next release!
Thanks everyone!
Jesse

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