HT5625 How to setup Family Sharing if you have use a 2nd AppleID with the App Store & iTunes

We would like to turn on Family Sharing for the 2 of us but we have 3 active Apple IDs.
Shared Apple ID - used to buy things in iTunes and the App Store
My Apple ID
The Wife's Apple ID
The logical move would be to merge the iTunes Apple ID into my Apple ID then set myself up as the primary.  Next invite the wife.
Merging isn't allowed.  Not sure how to handle this.
Maybe set myself up as the primary and invite both the Shared and Wife Apple IDs to join?

Try:
- Reset the iOS device. Nothing will be lost
Reset iOS device: Hold down the On/Off button and the Home button at the same time for at
least ten seconds, until the Apple logo appears.
- Reset all settings      
Go to Settings > General > Reset and tap Reset All Settings.
All your preferences and settings are reset. Information (such as contacts and calendars) and media (such as songs and videos) aren’t affected.
- Restore from backup. See:                                 
iOS: How to back up                                                                
- Restore to factory settings/new iOS device.             
If still problem, make an appointment at the Genius Bar of an Apple store since it appears you have a hardware problem.
Apple Retail Store - Genius Bar                                      
Also, you should be able to redownload via iTunes on the computer. See that method included here:
Downloading past purchases from the App Store, iBookstore, and iTunes Store

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