My iphone4 no longer shows my music files??  They don't appear in iTunes either but my music is still there as 1) the 'summary' shows 28gigs

My iPhone is driving me insane!  It started having problems synching the phone to iTunes (basically, iTunes was saying that it couldnt recognize the phone).  After hours and hours trying to resolve the issue I found some advice on the internet.  I downloaded iPhone Explorer and deleted a couple of files as suggested & this resolved the problem.  The phone started to synch again and updated the phone with the latest software.  However, the 'Summary' was showing all my music/video files as 'Other'.
I've since synched the phone & the problem is now even worse!!!  My iPhone no longer shows any music/videos, even when I connect to iTunes!  However, the summary still shows a capacity of 28 gigs so the music files are still in the phone?!?  Likewise, I've checked the phone files using iPhone Explorer & the music files are still in the phone?!?
Does anybody have any idea how to fix this problem.  I've only got half of music library backed up so dont want to restore as I'll lose half of my music library!

I'm happy to totally restore the phone.......once I have completely backed up my music files!  I can't back up in the normal way as the music files are not recognized in the iPhone or iTunes.
The original problem occurred as a result of a corrupted synch.  This seems to be a problem a LOT of people have had (based on all the Internet research I've done).  I did everything suggested (uninstall/reinstall iTunes, update iTunes, reset iPhone, use a different USB port, use a different connection cable, update drivers, restart computer with iPhone connected......and nothing worked!!!).  Having spent days and days looking for an answer I eventually found a solution that was supposed to work.  It was suggested that I download the 'iPhone Explorer' software and delete a couple of directory files which I did.  This partially resolved the issue, iTunes recognized the iPhone and updated the iOS software.
Quite simply, the music media files are still in the iPhone, it just doesn't recognise which directory the music cache is in.  I need to either:-
* figure out how to get the iPhone to find the correct directory again or:
* figure out how to extract the remaining music files to create a complete back up and then restore the iPhone

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