Screen Sharing.app fails through ssh tunnel with "You cannot control your own screen"

I need to control a remote Mac mini running 10.7 through an ssh tunnel.  I've set up ssh with -L for the appropriate ports, and bound my local ports 5900 and 5800 through this.
When I connect to 127.0.0.1 with Screen Sharing.app on my macbook pro which runs 10.8.4, it says "You cannot control your own screen" however, screen sharing is not enabled locally on my machine, I'm trying to access a remote machine.
I tried something else.  I created an alias IP of 127.0.0.2 on lo0, and tried again, and got the same thing, so it's doing an ifconfig and looking through all the IPs to see if the IP address of what I'm trying to connect to is bound locally, which defeats the purpose of tunneling through SSH.  I don't wish to setup a VPN.
How do I let the Screen Sharing.app know that I'm not trying to connect to my own machine and it should skip this check.
I've also tried with another app, Chicken of the VNC, and that almost works.  It connects and shows a login screen desktop to the target machine, but I'm unable to click on any of the account icons displayed in order to login, and all key presses such as tab, space, and enter are ignored.
When at the location (on the same vlan as the target machine) I'm able to remote into it just fine with screen sharing.app, but Chicken of the VNC has the same issue of showing a login screen, but not allowing logins to it.

Your ssh command should look something like:
ssh -L 22590:localhost:5900 remove.mac.system.address
Then you connect using
Finder -> Go -> Connect to server -> vnc://localhost:22590
Have you been doing anything close to that?

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