Submitting variables to an ASPX file WITHOUT opening new window

Question

Hello,
I'm trying to submit some variables from my flash to an aspx page on a different domain which will handle them and put them in a database.  I've tried a number of options, but the only ones that have worked also result in a new window/tab being opened, and I am trying to avoid this. 
For example, I tried a loadVars with the sendAndLoad() function, but it did not work because the "load" portion requires the aspx page to be on the same domain as the swf- which it is not.
the send() function does not work either, because it requires you to specify a target (_self, _blank, etc) and that causes a new tab to open, or a redirection on the current page- both unacceptable, as I am trying not to interupt the user's experience on the page the swf is featured on.  send() does succeed in submitting the variables, at least, but as I said, it opens a new tab/redirects current tab.
One solution is to enable outside domains access on the server-side, but this is not ideal.  I'm hoping for a flash solution.  Any thoughts?
here's the code:
var dataLoader = new LoadVars();
var junkLV:LoadVars = new LoadVars();
junkLV.onLoad = function(success:Boolean) {
    if (success) {
        trace("We are in business.");
        greenLight_mc._alpha = 100;
    else {
        trace("FAIL");
        redLight_mc._alpha = 100;
dataLoader.firstname = firstName;
dataLoader.lastname = lastName;
dataLoader.email = emailAddress;
dataLoader.dest = destination;
dataLoader.sendAndLoad("url.aspx", junkLV, "POST");

Answer 1

Oh I'm sorry now I understand why you were asking.  the "url.aspx" is not the actual URL.  It will be a full url in the form http://www.domain/directory/file.aspx, which will indeed be on another domain.
Sorry for the confusion.