Whilst updating my boyfriends phone after backing up to iTunes it accidentally got disconnected. when reconnected it synced all contacts from my phone back instead. can this be reversed and his data retrieved ?

whilst updating boyfriends iPhone 4 it got accidentally unplugged from iTunes's .
when reconnected it starting syncing all contacts from my phone and did not list his phone in
the devices drop down bar.
help everything gone from his phone and now he has some of my contacts and his phone says
its called Emma iPhone now instead of Tony's iPhone.
where has his back up data got stored?

Your only choice at this point is to restore your iphone. Since it appears from your post that you have never synced to this computer, you of course will not have a backup to restore from. That means your only choice is to restore as a new device & re-sync your itunes content. Unfortunately, all of your contacts, calendars, pics in your camera roll, etc., will be lost. Its not a good idea to use the iphone or any phone for that matter as a storage device, as things like this can & do happen. You should be syncing on a regular basis. The first thing done when you do sync is an iphone backup. You should also transfer pics in your camera roll to a supported application on your computer on a regular basis, much like any digital camera. You can always sync pics back to your phone, but if the only copies are on the phone, you run the risk of losing them.
See if you can force the phone into recovery mode:
Leave the USB cable connected to your computer, but NOT your phone, itunes running, press & hold the home button while connecting the USB cable to your dock connector, continue holding the home button until you see “Connect to iTunes” on the screen. You may now release the home button. iTunes should now display that it has detected your phone in recovery mode, if not quit and reopen iTunes. If you still don’t see the recovery message repeat these steps again. iTunes will give you the option to restore from a backup or set up as new.

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