Apple Remote Desktop not connecting to O2 Wireless Box

I've successfully got Apple Remote Desktop to connect to, view and control various Macs connected to numerous routers.
But the O2 Wireless Box doesn't want to play ball and I simply can't figure out why it won't allow me to connect.
Using http://portforward.com/english/routers/port_forwarding/O2/O2-TG585v7/Apple_Remot e_Desktop.htm as a guide (this was the only O2 router it referred to), I'm forwarding ports 3283, 5900 & 5988 but I simply can't connect using Apple Remote Desktop via the Internet. It just sticks on 'Connecting...' and then goes to a failed message. It suggested that, perhaps, Remote Desktop isn't enabled on the other machine ... but it is.
It seems to be something very odd about the router (it doesn't even allow remote management of the router as O2 removed that functionality fearing it was 'too dangerous' to allow the end user access to this) and I'm wondering whether there's something else I need to do to make the connection.
Can anyone give me as guidance on this please? It's driving me crazy!

Hi Jason,
It is often difficult to explain a problem, so don't worry. Let's break it down.
Firstly, does ARD work when you are at your place of work? - can you control a mac?
If so, this is good.
Ok, from work you need to access your router and find your public IP address, you only have one. You will often find this is the status page.
The IP is usually a class A address starting with 80 or 90, but this obviously isn't always so, depending on your ISP and region. make sure you are not using the router's local lan IP! You will also need to make sure your home router is allowing ARD ports through!
You now need to port forward the ARD ports to the mac you want to control, which I believe you have done. For example, port 3283 > IP address of remote mac.
I know when I did this, I just opened up all ports for a couple of minutes just to get it working, then I locked access down. If you havn't done so then you need to enable remote management on your work router so you can configure it at home.
On your mac at 'home' open ARD, and go to file> add by address and enter the PUBLIC IP address. You will also need to enter the admin user name and password for the said mac.
That's it, you should have control.
If your macs at work and home have a firewall enabled then you will need to update your rules.
Good luck!

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