Cannot connect to server in Finder

I am unable to connect to a MacBook Pro in Finder. I am trying to access the macbook from a mini and both the mackbook and the mini are both running OS X 10.9.4. If I select the server on the sidebar I get Connection Failed on the top left. If I select Connect As button and enter a registered user and password I get Connection Failed. If I try to use the Connect button on the Finder toolbar and enter the macbook name it also will fail. The strange thing is that if I use the IP address like afp://192.168.1.20 I can connect. I know I setup sharing correctly on the macbook. If I try Command-Shift-K and select the macbook the spinning wheel appears on the bottom right and just keeps spinning and never connects. One strange thing is that I was having the opposite problem last week. I could connect to the macbook from the mini but I couldn't connect to the mini from the macbook. And really strange is that I can perform screen sharing with the macbook. I do have an anti-virus package installed but I shut it down so it wouldn't affect anything.
any help would be greatly appreciated
john

okay, a little update. If I go into file sharing options and turn on Share files and folders using AFP I can connect and I just realized that my mini has this set. So why can I access the MBP with AFP://192.168.1.20 without the AFP setting and require it for connecting by computer name?
Strange

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