I have a Macbook Pro and iPhone 4S My wife has a iPad and iPhone 4S  How do I sync her devices and mine to mine and never the twain shall meet?

Please can any one advise?
I have a Macbook Pro 15" mid 2012, I also have a iPhone 4S which I sync with iTunes.
Now, my wife has a iPad and a iPhone 4S.
I would like to sync her iPad and iPhone together (Contacts, Calenders etc)
and I sync my Macbook with my iPhone 4S together
But never the twin shall meet. I do not want her contacts and calender on my devices and she does not want my contacts and dates on her devices.
We both have seperate apple id's
All I can think of is set up a guest account for her, install iTunes on that account and put her on that. However it no longer os a guest account but hers.
Thank you for reading this, all advice gratefully received
Mike T

go to itunes preferences, store, uncheck automatic downloads. also when your phone is connected you can click  on apps and only check the ones you want on your phone, go down to the bottom right and click apply.

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