I updated itunes but when i tried to sync my iphone 4 to itunes i dont see my phone on there please someone help me

hi i tried to sync my iphone to my itunes after the update but i dont see my phone on there and the sync thing is grey what do i do if its not showing

Well, you don't say what computer OS you are using, so here are the support documents for both.
Windows:     http://support.apple.com/kb/TS1538
OS X:     http://support.apple.com/kb/TS1591

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