Jst got a iphone 4s and my itunes is not picking it up at all i have tried many things from the internet but still not working

Please help ... Stressed new iphone user!!!!!!!!!! lol.
i got a new iphone 4s on friday, people told me i needed to connect this to the itunes asap.
i have had a ipod for 4 years and had no problem connecting to itunes before.
at first my computer would not find the iphone so i looked up tips from apple and other internet sources ... after deleting temp files my computer picked up my iphone but itunes didnt... i kept getting a pop up when going on to itunes saying "this iphone cannot be used because the required software is not installed. Run the itunes installer to remove itunes, then install itunes again.
So i did i did this serveral times and the pop still keeps coming up and everytime i reinstall itunes i have to delete temp files for my computer to pick my iphone up. i contacted apple and an adviser sent me a link to follow to delete itunes and other in a order which i did several times and still not worked.
i tried my iphone on my mums computer and it has picked it up but in my mums itunes i want my itunes as i have purchased many songs. now my ipod wont even register to itunes. i also get a pop up from windows saying Host process for windows services stopped working and was closed ... i ahve followed all the advice for that even a clear up on my computer and still nothing. you can even find apple mobile device anywhere on the computer tho my mobile is charging when plugged in. i have tried everything that apple reccomends anyone able to help
Thank you

Try this article if you haven't already
This is the only possibility that came to my mind when reading about your issue:
"If an iPhone, iPad, or iPod touch is not recognized in iTunes on Windows, the Apple Mobile Device Service (AMDS) may need to be restarted"

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