Mail is freezing my whole computer

I feel as if I'm back using OS9. I've been fighting with this all day, as I'm getting sick of it - it's been going on for 2-3 weeks now.
As long as I'm actually using Mail it seems to be fine but if I leave the computer, whether Mail is the active appl'n or not, when I come back, the whole computer is hung and I have to force quit. I can move the mouse around, I can click to other appl'ns but I can't DO anything. I can get to the Finder but again, nothing works. I've hit the Force Quit key combination for 2 to 3 minutes at a time - nothing. The only solution is to force quit.
I've read these forums. I've verified my discs (all 4 of them: 1 internal, 3 external) I've repaired permissions using my installer disks at least 3 times (lost count). It still comes up saying there are permissions which need repairing but from another post on these forums they are innocuous and nothing to worry about (ie an iPhoto permission).
I've tried trashing my com.apple.mail.plist prefs and have rebuilt all my accounts TWICE today but then they don't work properly (can't send e-mails). I've tried restoring the prefs from TimeMachine, at which point Mail hangs immediately. What on EARTH is going on? Has anyone else been experiencing this? I'm wondering if there's any connection with the fact that 2 weeks ago I had my laptop hard drive and RAM upgraded. Could this have started the problems? I can't remember when I started having this freezing problem.
Having used a Mac for years (since 1986, I think) I know that they're pretty bullet-proof but at some point I'm sure it's going to say "enough is enough". I'm especially worried about my FilemakerPro files, as each time I open them after a crash they have to be rebuilt.
If anyone has any suggestions I'd really appreciate hearing them. I'm ready to try pretty much anything! I'm also going to post this to the Leopard forum in case it's a system issue not triggered by Mail but from what I can see, it's Mail that's causing it.

scb wrote:
Well Helen, feeling some pressure? I like your implication that you want to leave Apple over this, and that after 21 years, Apple now stinks. You may be right. Let's see.
How on EARTH did you get that idea from what I wrote??!!! You MUST be kidding because that's sure not what I said. What I said was that after 21 years of using Macs I know that they can take a lot of force quitting without trashing things.
Start by going to ~/Library/Preferences, trashing com.apple.finder.plist, and restarting.
I didn't think of that one - thanks, I'll try it.
If this fails, drag the entire Preference folder to the Desktop, and restart. Replace your Mail folder, and Mail preferences, and now see if the issue persists (If it does, the Preference folder can be replaced.
Hmmm. I'm not sure I'm following this. Wouldn't this totally mess up ALL my preferences for ALL my applications?
Note: You bet new RAM can be an issue. Know how to reseat it?
On a desktop tower type Mac, yes. On a laptop? No. I'm not sure I'd even want to try, to be honest. If that's necessary I'll just take it back to the service guy and have him do it.
Thanks for your suggestions.

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