(most) email to some mailservers get's delayed

L.S.
Email send from our GW 7.0.3 email system to (at least one) external email system (microsoft) get's delayed up to 24 / 48 hours.
I managed to make some traces and discovered the following:
<bad server>
very small email, (one smtp-data packet) get's send inmediately
bigger email's (multi-packet data) get delayed.
Tracing these bigger email's, all SMTP-DATA packet's up until the last get send within micro-seconds. Then there is a 0.2-0.3 second pause and the receiving email-server starts asking "when the hell the rest of the data is comming".
The greeting of this server:
250-smtp1.domain.nl Hello [...]
250-SIZE 26214400
250-PIPELINING
250-DSN
250-ENHANCEDSTATUSCODES
250-AUTH LOGIN
250-8BITMIME
250-BINARYMIME
250 CHUNKING
</bad mail server>
<some other email server>
I've checked some other send email and all smtp-data packets get send tight away. The greeting of one of these (microsoft) email servers:
250-xyz.domain.local Hello []
250-SIZE
250-PIPELINING
250-AUTH NTLM
250 8BITMIME
</other mailserver>
So I'm suggesting the problem is a groupwise gwia reaction on one of these messages:
250-SIZE 26214400
250-DSN
250-ENHANCEDSTATUSCODES
250-AUTH LOGIN
250-BINARYMIME
250 CHUNKING
Which one, and how do I stop our server from waiting with the last SMTP-DATA packet?
Thomas Roes

I can send you the pcap file, but for now.....
No. Time Source Destination Protocol Info
1 0.000000 192.168.100.242 193.176.223.6 TCP 52783 > smtp [SYN] Seq=0 Win=6144 Len=0 MSS=1460 WS=1
2 0.015110 193.176.223.6 192.168.100.242 TCP smtp > 52783 [SYN, ACK] Seq=0 Ack=1 Win=1460 Len=0
3 0.015125 192.168.100.242 193.176.223.6 TCP 52783 > smtp [ACK] Seq=1 Ack=1 Win=6144 Len=0
4 0.030234 193.176.223.6 192.168.100.242 SMTP S: 220 smtp1.ssonet.nl Microsoft ESMTP MAIL Service ready at Fri, 14 May 2010 10:30:26 +0200
8 0.078865 192.168.100.242 193.176.223.6 TCP 52783 > smtp [ACK] Seq=1 Ack=92 Win=6053 Len=0
10 0.106006 192.168.100.242 193.176.223.6 SMTP C: EHLO mail.leeuwendaal.nl
11 0.134803 193.176.223.6 192.168.100.242 SMTP S: 250-smtp1.ssonet.nl Hello [77.242.121.13] | 250-SIZE 26214400 | 250-PIPELINING | 250-DSN | 250-ENHANCEDSTATUSCODES | 250-AUTH LOGIN | 250-8BITMIME | 250-BINARYMIME | 250 CHUNKING
12 0.134845 192.168.100.242 193.176.223.6 SMTP C: MAIL FROM:<[email protected]> SIZE=1647
13 0.149954 193.176.223.6 192.168.100.242 SMTP S: 250 2.1.0 Sender OK
14 0.149978 192.168.100.242 193.176.223.6 SMTP C: RCPT TO:<[email protected]>
36 0.325376 193.176.223.6 192.168.100.242 SMTP S: 250 2.1.5 Recipient OK
37 0.325432 192.168.100.242 193.176.223.6 SMTP C: DATA
38 0.339141 193.176.223.6 192.168.100.242 SMTP S: 354 Start mail input; end with <CRLF>.<CRLF>
39 0.339184 192.168.100.242 193.176.223.6 SMTP C: DATA fragment, 1460 bytes
40 0.629948 193.176.223.6 192.168.100.242 SMTP [TCP Retransmission] S: 354 Start mail input; end with <CRLF>.<CRLF>
41 0.629970 192.168.100.242 193.176.223.6 IMF from: "Thomas Roes" <[email protected]>, subject: test email ivm vertraagde aflevering email, (text/plain) (text/html)
42 0.643679 193.176.223.6 192.168.100.242 TCP [TCP Dup ACK 40#1] smtp > 52783 [ACK] Seq=355 Ack=113 Win=65280 Len=0 SLE=107838178 SRE=107838368
43 0.737818 192.168.100.242 193.176.223.6 SMTP [TCP Retransmission] C: DATA fragment, 1460 bytes
44 1.726490 192.168.100.242 193.176.223.6 SMTP [TCP Retransmission] C: DATA fragment, 1460 bytes
45 3.758779 192.168.100.242 193.176.223.6 SMTP [TCP Retransmission] C: DATA fragment, 1460 bytes
46 7.713395 192.168.100.242 193.176.223.6 SMTP [TCP Retransmission] C: DATA fragment, 1460 bytes
47 15.732566 192.168.100.242 193.176.223.6 SMTP [TCP Retransmission] C: DATA fragment, 1460 bytes
48 31.717503 192.168.100.242 193.176.223.6 SMTP [TCP Retransmission] C: DATA fragment, 1460 bytes
49 60.650729 193.176.223.6 192.168.100.242 SMTP S: 451 4.7.0 Timeout waiting for client input
50 60.650746 192.168.100.242 193.176.223.6 TCP 52783 > smtp [ACK] Seq=1763 Ack=399 Win=7604 Len=0
51 60.651112 193.176.223.6 192.168.100.242 TCP smtp > 52783 [FIN, ACK] Seq=399 Ack=113 Win=65280 Len=0
52 60.651123 192.168.100.242 193.176.223.6 TCP 52783 > smtp [ACK] Seq=1763 Ack=400 Win=7603 Len=0
53 63.682833 192.168.100.242 193.176.223.6 SMTP [TCP Retransmission] C: DATA fragment, 1460 bytes
54 127.726176 192.168.100.242 193.176.223.6 SMTP [TCP Retransmission] C: DATA fragment, 1460 bytes
81 180.659346 193.176.223.6 192.168.100.242 TCP smtp > 52783 [RST, ACK] Seq=400 Ack=113 Win=0 Len=0
Packet 41 (DATA-fragment) ends in mid-sentence.
Thomas Roes

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