Screen Sharing Failed to Connect Please Try Again with different credentials

Very strange behavior from Screen Sharing - which I have been using across multiple Mac system and OS versions for years. I have one system that is 10.8, several that are 10.7 and a 10.6. Most of the time it works as expected - the weird thing is that every so often I get a failure and please try different credientials but that do not get any way to enter other credientials.
Even stranger - sometimes - after failing to connect mulitple times - if I connect with LogMeIn - then Screen Sharing works.
In some cases I am able to connect no issue - then disconnect - and opps need to check something else and unable to reconnect.
I have looked in KeyChain access - and preferances - and other places - cannot find where Screen Sharing is storing info bits that might need deleting to clean things up.

Perhaps stranger still - one of the systems - a Mac OS X Server 10.7 - which is headless - had not been rebooted for nearly 100 days - so I rebooted it - and no can connect to all remote systems on the first try - repeatedly - even though I have not changed anything on or rebooted any of the others. And the OS X Server is NOT my domain, or DNS server.
except now Time Machine is not finding the backup disk on the server - which has been workign for the past year - and I did not delete the time machine stored keychains. ugh.

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