Sharing iTunes library between 2 computers and 2 iPods via network disk?

Hi,
Me and the missus each got a laptop -hers a PC and mine a MacBook.
We both use iTunes and we've both got an iPod.
Recently I bought an Aiport Express and hooked it up with a 1TB WD MyBook -is there any way that we can share our iTunes library via the network disk, so that we can 1. have full read/write access from both laptops and 2. both sync our iPods?
Furthermore, is there a way for iTunes to monitor the music folder, so instead of me dragging music into iTunes (e.g. CD's that were ripped with other software than iTunes) iTunes would just update every once in a while, to check for new mp3's (kinda like Picasa does with pictures)?
More questions most likely will pop up, but this is the most pressing ones.
Thanks in advance
/Jakob F.

*is there a way for iTunes to monitor the music folder, so instead of me dragging music into iTunes*
iTunes doesn't support folder watching, anything you add to a folder on your hard drive has to be manually added to the iTunes Library: Adding Content to iTunes
You could have a look at this Applescript for folder watching on a Mac: Doug's Applescripts - Folder Actions and iTunes or this program for Windows: iTunes Folder Watch for Windows
You'd need to do a deeper bit of research on both as I don't know if either would work from a folder that's effectively not on either computer

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