Update Apple Id Payment Info - Why is it so hard to give this company my money?

Here's my issue.  It's kind of a "perfect storm" of situations.  I am very annoyed, and my phone & ipad are slowly bricking.
1 - My windows machine (previously used itunes here) can no longer connect to the internet.  I won't go into why, but lets just say it's gonna be like this a while.
2 - No biggie, I'm a nerd and I also have a Linux handy.  I'm using that as my daily machine, quite happily.  But you can't install itunes on Linux, which is one of these stupid Apple decisions.  (Yes I tried Wine, with no luck.)  Sometimes I love Apple, but when it comes to iTunes I think Apple really blew it.
3 - The paypal account attached to my itunes account had to be closed.  (In order to make another paypal account work...PayPal is also stupid.)  Who cares, I was only using it for iTunes, and I can easily update that...right?
4 - I can't update on iTunes on a computer because as mentioned in 1 & 2, I have no iTunes on a computer.
5 - No biggie, I'll update it online.  No, wait, apple doesn't allow that.  I don't know why. 
6 - No biggie, I'll update it from my iPhone or iPad.  Nope.  Can't do that either.  If I try, I get an error that says " Paypal is not supported on this device.  To manage or change your payment method, go to the iTunes Store on your computer."  and below that in red "There's a billing problem with a previous purchase.  Please update your payment method."
7 - So now I decide to contact support.  My first reply was simply a link to online instructions, which was annoying.  But after explaining more, he tells me he cannot help and I should use a friend's computer.  WHAT???  ***.
So now I can't upgrade any apps (even though that wouldn't require a payment), some apps have stopped working because they require an upgrade.  And now I can't even download FREE apps from the iTunes store.  This is starting to limit the usefulness of my devices.
I am really really disappointed.  Can anyone help me figure this out? Yes, I will see if I can use a friend, but that is a terrible answer.
Who can we send this issue to in order to see this sphaghetti architecture change?

First thanks for making a comment.
To use Google is just lame.  What can you search in a sea of "bests"?  AppShopper, well, first, you don't let your paying customers leave your store to find out what to buy.  Second, not sure it is in anyway better.  Seems like a cheap and brainless copy of what Apple has.
Maybe there is something to this "power search".  Except I have no clue what that is.  Can't find it in Apple Store.  Now that is not a good way to attract buyers.

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