Why can't any of my programs update?

In the help section I try to update my programs, and they just tell me they're up to date, when they're obviously not...
Like Illustrator is v16.0.0 when the current version I should have is 16.2.0
I've tried so many things, I am getting really frustrated

Try re-installing the application and running the adobe cleaner tool to remove the remnants of the installation.
Adobe Creative Suite Cleaner Tool: http://www.adobe.com/support/contact/cscleanertool.html
Re-install the application using Adobe Application Manager and try to update it.

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