Calendar invites from Outlook(pc) come as .ics, can't be deleted & are 3 hrs earlier than the meeting time!

Please help! This is so crazy complicated. I believe the problem is either 1) a faulty phone, or 2) a bug in iOS5 for outlook calendar if you aren’t on an exchange server (please someone tell me iOS6 will fix it!).
I bought my nanny an iPhone. She does not have a mac and she does not sync to a pc. She just uses the phone. She does not have an exchange server – she is just AT&T with an optimum online email account. I use a pc and Outlook 2003 (yes, I know it’s old, waiting to buy a new laptop and upgrade at once). I manage my children’s very busy schedule on this calendar and I invite my nanny and my husband to most appointments. I am on an exchange server for this calendar (my personal). I also use an iPhone and iPad and have servers hosting my email accounts.
When I invite my nanny to appointments on my outlook 2003 pc calendar she receives an .ics file instead of a nice looking appointment with the name of the appointment. If I invite myself at work (also on a server, PC and on my iPad and iPhone) or my husband (uses an iPhone 4S), neither of us get .ics – we get a normal calendar meeting. We can open and accept and delete, etc. Since we are both on exchange servers (not the same ones) I think this must be the first problem – why she gets .ics and we don’t. When she opens the meeting she can ONLY accept. There are no options for Maybe or Decline. When she accepts – get this – it adds the meeting THREE hours earlier than the actual time! Yes, we’ve checked her time zone settings. I have also restored the phone. It doesn’t help. She also can’t decline the meeting ever. It’s stuck on her phone. When I delete the meeting, it doesn’t delete from her account. She now has a test that we added as a recurring appointment on Sunday morning that will be there forever!
THEN I tested a few other things. I invited her NOT by sending the meeting directly from my outlook and PC but by opening the meeting once added on my iPhone and on my iPad and inviting her. When I do that, they get added at the CORRECT time BUT she still has no option to decline and she can never delete these either. When I delete from my PC, my iPhone and my iPad – they all stay on her iPhone.
NEXT… I tried sending her a meeting from my work PC which is the newest version – Outlook 2010. Same thing, came in as .ics, no ability to decline BUT… the time added correctly! This is from an exchange server.
I’ve read about other people having this issue but they have one appointment out there that they can’t delete. This is 20 a week I’m sending her… and the time zone changing – that’s just crazy. I haven’t found anyone with that issue. Could we really be the only people out there that use a lot of meeting invitations – Outlook to iPhone and they don’t know it’s a bug? Or do I have some funky setup on her phone? If I add her to my server will that fix it? Or does she just have a faulty phone? Please help!

I posted this question a while ago and didn't receive any responses but there are a lot of people who have viewed it and 10 have said they have the same question so I thought I would update you that I added my nanny to my exchange server account (created an email for her) and I send all invites to that email address and they work. So sending invites from an exchange server account to a non-exchange server account apparently is a bug so to solve it, get on an exchange server I guess.

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I posted this question a while ago and didn't receive any responses but there are a lot of people who have viewed it and 10 have said they have the same question so I thought I would update you that I added my nanny to my exchange server account (created an email for her) and I send all invites to that email address and they work. So sending invites from an exchange server account to a non-exchange server account apparently is a bug so to solve it, get on an exchange server I guess.

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I LOVE iCal and I want to continue using it. Though I have a personal mid-2010 Macbook Pro, I don't use it too much (my company functions solely on Windows). I almost exclusively use my iPhone 4S for calendar purposes. Yes, my calendar is synced up to iCloud. I have a gmail account as my primary apple ID and my mail account on the iPhone is synced with gmail. I've been very annoyed lately as I have been receiving a lot of calendar invites from a friend who has Outlook, and I cannot accept or decline when I received her invite. The events are added to my calendar, grayed out.
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I posted this question a while ago and didn't receive any responses but there are a lot of people who have viewed it and 10 have said they have the same question so I thought I would update you that I added my nanny to my exchange server account (created an email for her) and I send all invites to that email address and they work. So sending invites from an exchange server account to a non-exchange server account apparently is a bug so to solve it, get on an exchange server I guess.

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I posted this question a while ago and didn't receive any responses but there are a lot of people who have viewed it and 10 have said they have the same question so I thought I would update you that I added my nanny to my exchange server account (created an email for her) and I send all invites to that email address and they work. So sending invites from an exchange server account to a non-exchange server account apparently is a bug so to solve it, get on an exchange server I guess.

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I posted this question a while ago and didn't receive any responses but there are a lot of people who have viewed it and 10 have said they have the same question so I thought I would update you that I added my nanny to my exchange server account (created an email for her) and I send all invites to that email address and they work. So sending invites from an exchange server account to a non-exchange server account apparently is a bug so to solve it, get on an exchange server I guess.

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2. Not being able to reply to the invite through email.
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SOLUTION:
1. Log in to you Google account ON A DESKTOP COMPUTER (I tried on mobile and it didn't work for me).
2. Access your google calendar. One way is through the "9 squares" icon on the top right of your browser.
3. On the middle-left portion of your screen, you will see your various calendars listed (e.g. Personal calendar, contacts birthdays, holidays, etc.). The top one should be your primary calendar, and immediately to the left of it is a downward pointing arrow. Click on it to reveal an options menu.
4. In that options menu, choose "Settings".
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7. Don't forget to save the changes.
For me that did the trick. I assume that when a new invite is being processed through iCloud, it first checks with the email address if there are notifications settings enabled, and if so let's it handle the invite. Which could actually be the desired behaviour, although it should be more obvious. Either that or Google Calendar somehow hijacks the process.
Anyway it seems that when there as no notification setup with Google, the invite god through to the Calendar Inbox as usual.
This problem was a thorn for me, so I hope that fixes it for you as well!
Vincent
Info: Using iPhone 5S, with iOS7, but previously had the same probl with iPhone 3GS using iOS6. Have been using the same Gmail account since the beginning and always had my Apple ID ash gmail address.

Calendar invites from Outlook(pc) come as .ics, can't be deleted & are 3 hrs earlier than the meeting time!

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