Can not connect to a remote SSH server with my mac

Ok have tried 4 different applications, fetch , captain ftp, terminal, etc.
I am trying and connect to a friends ssh server to upload some file logs. I have the correct login/password, have tried both protocol 1 and 2. Port 22 is correct. I keep getting the error message
User logging error - captain ftp
SFTP connection to ..... could not be opened becasue the connection to the SFTP server could not be established or was lost - Fetch
sshexchangeidentification: Connection closed by remote host - Ternminal
We have tested it using Telnet and other programs on a PC and all is well.
When i try and connect he receives the message
Refused connect from cpe-"ip address"(ip address)
policy: HostKey/etc/ssh/sshhost_rsakey
Do i have a setting somewhere i am missing.

1st, is the server behind a home router? Has port 22 been "Port Forwarded" from the internet side to the server's side of the router?
2nd, from a Terminal session use the command:
ssh -v -v -v [email protected]
The -v -v -v triplets will give you a wealth of ssh connection information. If you read through this carefully you may find the root cause of your problems (assuming the 1st step above doesn't yield results).
Another thing to consider, is that ssh will not make a connection to an account that it does not consider to be reasonably secure. This means that the home directory of the account and specific key subdirectories must have proper ownership and permissions, or ssh will not connect. The specific ownership and permissions needed and the files and directories checked are spelled out in the ssh man page
man ssh

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Status:          Resolving address of domain.com
Status:          Connecting to ExternalIP:990...
Status:          Connection established, initializing TLS...
Status:          Verifying certificate...
Status:          TLS/SSL connection established, waiting for welcome message...
Response:          220-220-Welcome to Cerberus FTP Server
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ASA Version 8.0(4)
interface Vlan1
nameif inside
security-level 100
ip address 192.168.10.10 255.255.255.0
interface Vlan2
nameif outside
security-level 0
pppoe client vpdn group att
ip address pppoe setroute
interface Ethernet0/0
switchport access vlan 2
interface Ethernet0/1
interface Ethernet0/2
interface Ethernet0/3
interface Ethernet0/4
interface Ethernet0/5
interface Ethernet0/6
interface Ethernet0/7
ftp mode passive
clock timezone CST -6
clock summer-time CDT recurring
object-group service RDP tcp
description RDP
port-object eq 3389
object-group service FTP_PASV_Ports tcp
description Passive Ports
port-object range 35000 35999
object-group service FTPS tcp
description FTPS
port-object eq 990
access-list outside_access_in extended permit tcp any any object-group RDP
access-list outside_access_in extended permit icmp any any
access-list outside_access_in extended permit tcp any any eq ftp
access-list outside_access_in extended permit tcp any any eq telnet
access-list outside_access_in extended permit tcp any any eq smtp
access-list outside_access_in extended permit tcp any any eq www
access-list outside_access_in extended permit tcp any any eq pop3
access-list outside_access_in extended permit tcp any any eq https
access-list outside_access_in remark passive FTP port range
access-list outside_access_in extended permit tcp any host server object-group FTP_PASV_Ports
access-list outside_access_in extended permit tcp any any eq ssh
access-list outside_access_in extended permit tcp any any object-group FTPS
access-list outside_access_in extended permit tcp any any eq ftp-data
pager lines 24
logging enable
logging asdm informational
mtu inside 1500
mtu outside 1492
icmp unreachable rate-limit 1 burst-size 1
asdm image disk0:/asdm-621.bin
no asdm history enable
arp timeout 14400
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static (inside,outside) tcp interface https server https netmask 255.255.255.255
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static (inside,outside) tcp interface 3389 server 3389 netmask 255.255.255.255
static (inside,outside) tcp interface pop3 server pop3 netmask 255.255.255.255
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static (inside,outside) tcp interface 990 server 990 netmask 255.255.255.255
static (inside,outside) tcp interface ftp-data server ftp-data netmask 255.255.255.255
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timeout conn 1:00:00 half-closed 0:10:00 udp 0:02:00 icmp 0:00:02
timeout sunrpc 0:10:00 h323 0:05:00 h225 1:00:00 mgcp 0:05:00 mgcp-pat 0:05:00
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timeout sip-provisional-media 0:02:00 uauth 0:05:00 absolute
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no snmp-server contact
snmp-server enable traps snmp authentication linkup linkdown coldstart
crypto ipsec security-association lifetime seconds 28800
crypto ipsec security-association lifetime kilobytes 4608000
telnet 0.0.0.0 0.0.0.0 inside
telnet timeout 5
ssh 192.168.10.0 255.255.255.0 inside
ssh timeout 5
console timeout 0
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threat-detection basic-threat
threat-detection statistics access-list
no threat-detection statistics tcp-intercept
username admin password rcuFiQnIXLd encrypted privilege 15
class-map inspection_default
match default-inspection-traffic
policy-map type inspect dns preset_dns_map
parameters
message-length maximum 512
policy-map global_policy
class inspection_default
inspect dns preset_dns_map
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inspect h323 ras
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inspect esmtp
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inspect sunrpc
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inspect netbios
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service-policy global_policy global
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Cryptochecksum:ecb5356a2f5e680b
: end
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Dan,
Looking at the output,
Status:          Resolving address of domain.com
Status:          Connecting to ExternalIP:990...
Status:          Connection established, initializing TLS...
Status:          Verifying certificate...
Status:          TLS/SSL connection established, waiting for welcome message...
This looks like FTPS which is not supported on the ASA. You can workaround it by trying to connect using Active mode from the outside instead of PSV.
You can find more info here:
https://supportforums.cisco.com/docs/DOC-23206
Mike

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