Can't sync music from iTunes 11 to iPhone 4 since getting iOS 6.1

IPhone 4, iOS 6.1
Basically, plugged in my phone to put a new cd on, and as it started I noticed the 'other' bar was huge and iTunes was saying my phone was 6gb over capacity and was still trying to sync apps I'd deleted a month before, so stopped the process thinking it was damaging my phone.
I then, thinking the phone had backed up, deleted all pictures to make some space and tried to sync again. The same happened.
Next I decided to update the iOS to 6.1 and try again. This is when I started not being able to syncs anything. Music, film, photos, tv shows, nothing.
The sync will start and the phone capacity bar shows will show how much space will be taken up and the sync skips to the end and nothing has been synced. In iTunes in the music view under devices on tje left the files are greyed out with the sync in progress icon next to them.
I have also got a 'connection has been list to the iPhone' error message which I really don't understand as they are connected via USB and the phone is still mounted in iTunes.
Since then I have tried every different connotation of settings through iTunes to no avail. I've backup and restored, I've restored to a new phone but with no results at all. 
I have read 20 or discussions on The Apple forums and it seems that loads of slightly different solutions have worked for lots of different people and I also know many people are completely unaffected by this, but I use my phone more as an iPod than phone.
It's proper frustrating, especially when Apple release a software update for iPhone 4S users but not iPhone 4 owners.
Oh and today it also seemed to be flakey in terms 3G connections.
Oh and since Christmas I haven't been able to use home sharing as it won't finish connecting, it just stops!

Everything is Sorted!
The release of iTunes 11.0.2 and iOS 6.1.2 for my iPhone 4, seems to have sorted everything. I can now sync music, films and photos between my MacBook and my phone.
I was dubious about blindly doing the updates but decided they couldn't really mess up any further functionality so I went for it and it's sorted now.
Look in to, and take the gamble, it's up to you.

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