Feeling Electrical Current... Why do I feel an electrical buzz when I touch someone while my laptop is on my lap.  It is a weird electrical stickiness feeling, when you slide your hand on someone's arm it skips like you were touching rubber. Help!

I get an electrical buzz feeling when I touch someone else or someone else touches me, while my laptop is on my lap. 
It is a weird electrical stickiness feeling... when you slide your hand on someone's arm it skips as if you were touching rubber.
Anyone have any remedies?
My girlfriend won't touch me anymore when I am on my computer and thinks she isn't getting pregnant because I am "frying my boys" with electricity.
I called Apple Tech Support - and because my support expired 20 days ago (even though this problem has been going on for months) they said they wouldn't help me.
They suggested the laptop was never meant for a lap - lol... and I should only use it on a table.
Help - I'm frying here!

I get an electrical buzz feeling when I touch someone else or someone else touches me, while my laptop is on my lap. 
It is a weird electrical stickiness feeling... when you slide your hand on someone's arm it skips as if you were touching rubber.
Anyone have any remedies?
My girlfriend won't touch me anymore when I am on my computer and thinks she isn't getting pregnant because I am "frying my boys" with electricity.
I called Apple Tech Support - and because my support expired 20 days ago (even though this problem has been going on for months) they said they wouldn't help me.
They suggested the laptop was never meant for a lap - lol... and I should only use it on a table.
Help - I'm frying here!

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1222, 1234, 1243, 1245, 1255, 1256, 1269, 1272, 1313, 1314, 1338, 1349, 1369, 1386, 1415, 1433, 1434, 1441, 1492, 1524, 1560, 1561, 1600, 1601, 1602, 1703, 1711, 1772, 1777, 1807, 1826, 1833, 1834, 1835, 1836, 1837, 1905, 1911, 1966, 1967, 1969, 1978, 1981, 1983, 1984, 1985, 1986, 1991, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2004, 2005, 2023, 2060, 2080, 2101, 2115, 2130, 2140, 2149, 2150, 2155, 2156, 2222, 2234, 2255, 2281, 2283, 2300, 2311, 2330, 2331, 2332, 2333, 2334, 2335, 2336, 2337, 2338, 2339, 2343, 2345, 2407, 2418, 2555, 2565, 2583, 2589, 2600, 2702, 2716, 2772, 2773, 2774, 2800, 2801, 2929, 2983, 2989, 3000, 3006, 3024, 3031, 3119, 3127, 3128, 3129, 3131, 3150, 3215, 3292, 3295, 3333, 3410, 3417, 3418, 3456, 3459, 3505, 3700, 3721, 3723, 3777, 3791, 3800, 3801, 3945, 3996, 3997, 3999, 4000, 4092, 4128, 4156, 4201, 4210, 4211, 4225, 4242, 4315, 4321, 4414, 4442, 4444, 4445, 4447, 4449, 4451, 4488, 4567, 4590, 4653, 4666, 4700, 4836, 4950, 5000, 5001, 5002, 5005, 5010, 5011, 5025, 5031, 5032, 5050, 5135, 5150, 5151, 5152, 5155, 5221, 5250, 5321, 5333, 5343, 5350, 5377, 5400, 5401, 5402, 5418, 5419, 5430, 5450, 5503, 5512, 5534, 5550, 5555, 5556, 5557, 5569, 5637, 5638, 5650, 5669, 5679, 5695, 5696, 5697, 5742, 5760, 5802, 5873, 5880, 5882, 5888, 5889, 5933, 6000, 6006, 6267, 6272, 6346, 6400, 6521, 6526, 6556, 6661, 6666, 6667, 6669, 6670, 6697, 6711, 6712, 6713, 6714, 6715, 6718, 6723, 6766, 6767, 6771, 6776, 6838, 6883, 6891, 6912, 6939, 6969, 6970, 7000, 7001, 7007, 7020, 7030, 7119, 7215, 7274, 7290, 7291, 7300, 7301, 7306, 7307, 7308, 7312, 7410, 7424, 7597, 7626, 7648, 7673, 7676, 7677, 7718, 7722, 7777, 7788, 7789, 7800, 7826, 7850, 7878, 7879, 7979, 7983, 8011, 8012, 8080, 8090, 8097, 8100, 8110, 8111, 8127, 8130, 8131, 8301, 8302, 8311, 8322, 8329, 8488, 8489, 8685, 8732, 8734, 8787, 8811, 8812, 8821, 8848, 8864, 8888, 8988, 8989, 9000, 9090, 9117, 9148, 9301, 9325, 9329, 9400, 9401, 9536, 9561, 9563, 9870, 9872, 9873, 9874, 9875, 9876, 9877, 9878, 9879, 9919, 9989, 9999, 10000, 10001, 10002, 10003, 10008, 10012, 10013, 10067, 10084, 10085, 10086, 10100, 10101, 10167, 10498, 10520, 10528, 10607, 10666, 10887, 10889, 11000, 11011, 11050, 11051, 11111, 11223, 11225, 11660, 11718, 11831, 11977, 11978, 11980, 12000, 12076, 12223, 12310, 12321, 12345, 12346, 12348, 12349, 12361, 12362, 12363, 12623, 12624, 12631, 12684, 12754, 12904, 13000, 13010, 13013, 13014, 13028, 13079, 13370, 13371, 13500, 13753, 14194, 14285, 14286, 14287, 14500, 14501, 14502, 14503, 15000, 15092, 15104, 15206, 15207, 15210, 15382, 15432, 15485, 15486, 15500, 15512, 15551, 15695, 15845, 15852, 15858, 16057, 16484, 16514, 16515, 16523, 16660, 16712, 16761, 16772, 16959, 16969, 17166, 17300, 17449, 17499, 17500, 17569, 17593, 17777, 18753, 19191, 19216, 19864, 20000, 20001, 20002, 20005, 20023, 20034, 20203, 20331, 20432, 20433, 21212, 21544, 21554, 21579, 21957, 22115, 22222, 22223, 22456, 22554, 22783, 22784, 22785, 23000, 23001, 23005, 23006, 23023, 23032, 23321, 23432, 23456, 23476, 23477, 23777, 24000, 24289, 25002, 25123, 25555, 25685, 25686, 25799, 25885, 25982, 26274, 26681, 27160, 27184, 27373, 27374, 27379, 27444, 27573, 27665, 28218, 28431, 28678, 29104, 29292, 29559, 29589, 29891, 29999, 30000, 30001, 30003, 30005, 30029, 30100, 30101, 30102, 30103, 30133, 30303, 30331, 30464, 30700, 30947, 30999, 31320, 31335, 31336, 31337, 31338, 31339, 31340, 31382, 31415, 31416, 31557, 31666, 31745, 31785, 31787, 31788, 31789, 31790, 31791, 31792, 31887, 32000, 32001, 32100, 32418, 32791, 33270, 33333, 33545, 33567, 33568, 33577, 33777, 33911, 34312, 34313, 34324, 34343, 34444, 34555, 35000, 35555, 35600, 36794, 37237, 37651, 38741, 38742, 40071, 40308, 40412, 40421, 40422, 40423, 40425, 40426, 41337, 41666, 43720, 44014, 44444, 44575, 44767, 45092, 45454, 45632, 45673, 46666, 47017, 47262, 47698, 47785, 47891, 48004, 48006, 48512, 49000, 49683, 49698, 50000, 50021, 50130, 50505, 50551, 50552, 50766, 50829, 51234, 51966, 52317, 52365, 52901, 53001, 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