Had difficulty with synching music. Music was deleted when I changed/added new info. Had to start over. So...I checked procedure and it say if you change anything, hit the apple button. Which one? Never had to do this previous to the new operatin

I was having trouble with synching my iphone 5 since the new operating system was installed. But I was waiting for my 6+ and figured it would be solved with my dandy new phone. No such luck. I downloaded a great deal of music and then added to it and synched again. Music gone, except paid for stuff bought on the phone. So I added more and tried to load it again, and it did. But now, I was afraid to add anything, backup, and synch for any reason as it takes 12 hours + to load my music.
So, I went back to basics and looked up the procedure. It does say that if you make a change, " you should hit the apple button before you synch." Which one?
No info on what they mean. And clearly this is a change. I'm feeling stupid, but lately, Apple makes changes and expects you to intuitively figure them out. I usually do but was stumped here. It might be nice to get a heads up when changes occur.
Please help !
Oh and also, I can't seem to download ringtones I have created.

I am syncing my iphone to my iTunes account and then I do a backup and also making sure all updates are current. Then by going to the my phone and then going to the right and selecting the restore my iphone.
Here is a picture of what I get

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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