How do I delete old email so it does not keep coming back into my inbox?

I am having so much trouble with my email on the iPad. I cannot delete it. It comes right back and floods my inbox. I have now gone to webmail and removed it from the serve and it STILL comes back. All the companies that I identified as SPAM with my server and do not come into my iMac inbox all come into my iPad inbox. It is horrible. I've tried everything...changing settings, etc. and the problem continues. The way it is now, the email function is almost useless on my iPad and it really should not be. I should be able to delete mail and have it stay deleted.

I've talked to Cox (my ISP) and they say this is the only way it can be set up. Two different people at the Apple store in this area have said that Cox has an old server and that is causing the problem. Cox says none of this is their problem, and they do not deal with the iPad email, only the iMac email.
I just noticed that the trash on my iPad was filled with the mail that keeps coming back. I deleted it...which I had never done because I didn't even know it was there. Nothing more has come back into the inbox (this could be purely accident, but it is the first time I've had an inbox with fewer than 24 old emails). Should I be deleting the mail from the iPad trash every day? Is there a setting for it to empty automatically..or does this not have anything to do with the problem?
I also did change the settings to add the 'west' but that probably doesn't matter.
Thanks for your help. The email is such a problem that I hardly bother using the iPad. I'd really like to get it fixed.
Also should it be on 'push' or 'fetch?'

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