How do I load a ringtone without syncing

OK - so I know this issue has been asked in hundreds of different forums but after reading all and trying each I am no further than where I started. So I downloaded a silent ringtone (for telemarketers) in .m4r format. I dropped it into iTunes 10.8 (WinXP OS). I plug iPhone in and it is recognized. I drag the file from my desktop and drop into iTunes. It shows in tone folder in iTunes. I drag file from iTunes tones folder and drop into iPhone tones folder. It shows and is checked. Here's the problem - normally, once a song or tone or any other file is moved this way you can see it load onto the phone in the status bar at the top of the screen. Obviously a small file like a tone will be quick but this does not happen. I don't want to sync. If I uncheck sync in photos, music, videos...etc and only sync tones it starts a 6 or 7 step process (back-up...) It also appears that I will lose all of the music on my phone since the colored memory usage indicator at the bottom of the panel shows little of anything since I "un-synced" everything but tones - is this just a representation or will I actually have to sync all? All I want to to is drag and drop the tone into my phone an be done with it - why isn't it that simple? Is there a setting in preferences I need to change? Help - anyone? I'm not well versed in iTunes but I'm not lost when it comes to technology - normally Apple makes things pretty intuitive.

iTunes is trying to do exactly what you told it to do.
You unchecked the options for sync apps and/or music so on the next sync it is going to remove all the synced apps and/or music on the device.
Just leave things alone.
You cannot simply "drag and drop" if you want to sync.  It's one or the other.
Seriously... is it going to kill you to wait the 30 seconds to let it sync?

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