HT201304 oh, my God. Was anything ever so poorly explained as the use of one id for multiple devices? who, where can anyone help sort out the mess that has developed?

Question

I have used my iphone 4s for over a year. Recently, I bought two ipod touch devices, one for each of my children. While attempting to set up their ipods, even with email advice from apple, we have become utterly confused as to whose apple id is on whose phone/ipod, why some apps automatically appear on two devices but not on the third (it varies). Most worryingly, in app purchases is DISABLED on my iphone but my children can still purchase in-app purchases without my knowledge and have run up bills (fortunately not huge bills). Why would anyone want to allow this???? If I have consciously disabled in app purchases under my apple id on my iphone, why would the default on another device be to allow in app purchases, when using my apple id?
When setting up my children's apple ids, I wanted them to have their own apple id to avoid this kind of confusion but we got warnings that they were not allowed to have an apple id (presumably too young?) . But they have got their own ipods and should be able to purchase items using itunes cards so why cant they have an independent apple id? And what's the difference between the apple id and the itunes id?
Is there anyone who can help clear up this mess?

Answer 1

You have to diasable in app purchases on the device itself, NOT the id.
If you want in app purchases disabled on the ipods, then you will have to do this on the ipods themselves.