HT4623 how in the world do I have my children 1 ipod & 1 with iphone be on my itunes (My iphone) so 3 devices account without our devices getting each others texts etc. etc.???

How can i use 2 iphones & 1 ipod on my itunes account without all the devices getting all the texts bewteen all three devices? It also looks like I've lost about 82 songs that have been purchased as they aren't showing in purchased?? Not happy Thanks

When you say "use the same purchasing apple ID for both to share books/music apps"- will this allow him to see what apps I download on his ipod (don't want)? will this allow me to continue to see what apps/games he gets on his ipod, on my phone (do want)? and do I set those changes on both devices?
To do this:
iPhone: Settings > iTunes & App Stores > Automatic Downloads:
     Music: ON
     Apps: ON
     Books: ON
iPod: Settings > iTunes & App Stores > Automatic Downloads:
     now you decide what he gets automatically.
He doesn't use game center, imessage, facetime or anything else (mainly just games, music and picture taking)- so does he really need his own apple id and email address? also- if he wants to start getting text messages, would i still have access to all of them if he has his own apple id? would i have access to them if he stays on my apple id?
Then he doesn't need an Apple ID.
Switch in
Settings > Messages >
     iMessage: OFF
     Send & Receive > Apple ID: > sign out
Settings > FaceTime > FaceTime: OFF

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