IPhone 4s set to manually sync, but every time I try to put a single song on my phone it downloads my entire library. How do I sync individual songs without downloading entire iTunes library?

I recently purged my iPhone 4S of most of its music because I didn't have enough gigabytes of free space to download the latest iOS (my phone was actually completely full). That ticked me off but I didn't have time for a backup. I transferred all purchases to my library and I deleted the music from my phone.
Since then, I've been annoyed that I don't have all my music but I've been enjoying the free space that I have, so I prefer to restore songs from my library individually now, depending what I'm in the mood to hear, and I don't miss having a full phone.
However, whenever I try to manually sync music that was ripped from a CD, music I didn't download from iTunes, but is playable in my iTunes library, iTunes thinks it has to download the entire library, which I don't even have the space for, anyway. However, my iPhone seems fine wirelessly (I have Home Sharing turned on) syncing individual songs which were purchased in the iTunes store.
So whenever I try to sync a single song, or an album perhaps, which was not purchased on iTunes, I get the message "updating files on iphone" and it says it's copying all the thousands of songs in my entire library. But my settings are for manual sync only. I wind up cancelling the sync every time, because I would have to wait for it to finish copying thousands of songs before it got to the one I selected. Why on earth is it doing this?
How do I regain the ability to sync a single song at a time?
This has been exasperating me.

While your iPhone is synching in iTunes, do the following:
1. Click on your iPhone's icon on the left.
2. Find and click on the "Tones" tab on the upper right of the iTunes display.
3. Choose the synch option you would like.

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