New build flat with FTTP preinstalled, can't get i...

Question

We recently moved in to a new build flat, and had BT Infinity broadband and a landline in our previous flat.  To be fair, once it had been installed in the previous property, the service was absolutely fine, fast, etc., and almost entirely without interruption.  We called to arrange for our services to be moved to the new property, and an order was created.
After moving in to the new flat, we discovered that an FTTP terminal had been preinstalled in all flats throughout the development (but we didn't really know what this was).  We checked up on the order on MyBT, and it seemed the order to move had disappeared, although our old services had been stopped and the cancellation order completed.
From this point onward, we've been going through what seems to be the common unpleasant cycle of frustration.........trying the automated "help" line (it hanging up, returning to the beginning menu, etc.), unhelpful call centre interactions, not receiving return calls as promised/scheduled, etc..  Everyone we spoke with was perfectly nice, but provided no real information.
During these interactions, I repeatedly mentioned the preinstalled FTTP and offered to give them the serial number, etc. but whoever I was speaking with didn't seem interested.  Apparently, our order was being dealt with by some sort of special engineering department, but we've never spoken with anyone in that department.  I was given a new VOL number, but that number isn't recognized.  After numerous phone calls, I was told to contact the FTTP sales department at 08005874787, which I did yesterday, and spoke with someone who was (by some distance) the most helpful and informative of anyone I had spoken with previously.  It might be obvious to some (but wasn't to us), but if you have FTTP in your home, call this number rather than wasting time with any other phone numbers, etc. (at least based on our experience) as communication between different BT departments seems poor at best.
The current situation, as I understand it, is that the BT engineering department does not have an updated database that recognizes our newly built development's postcode, address, etc., and therefore the service cannot be activated (and this had resulted in a cycle of orders and cancellations).  We haven't been given a timeline for when this database update will happen (although from what I gather this could take anywhere from a week to months).  Virgin broadband has been activated without delay for many people in the development, but as we were with BT previously, we had hoped to just move our services.  There are hundreds of properties in the development, so BT is presumably precluding new or continuing business due to what seems a simple clerical/administrative/database issue - and Virgin clearly haven't had any problems.
Apologies for longwindedness and any technical ignorance, but I thought this may be informative for others in a similar position.
Some questions we have, if anyone has any feedback, it would be greatly appreciated..............
- Because we have no idea of when the service may be activated, can we cancel our BT services without penalty (as they are currently unable to provide them and we are not under contract, unless the 'attempted' but thus far failed move means we are under a new contract again)?  In which case, we would simply switch to Virgin.
- When transferring the services, we were also charged 65 pounds to move our landline, which we were told would be returned when our broadband was activated - are we entitled to a refund for this as well?
- If we cancel, but need to give a certain period of notice (for example 30 days - I have no idea), but the services are still not activated during this period, would we be reimbursed?

Answer 1

Since posting my original message, no progress has been made.  It has all been extremely disappointing, and nothing has changed whatsoever.  I have had to continue to call BT repeatedly, and it appeared as though an order was eventually created (previous ones had repeatedly failed and been cancelled).  An engineer visit was arranged for today.  The engineer was on time, friendly, and helpful, tested all of the equipment, cabling, etc. and said it was fine, contacted his support team, and was told that they were aware of a problem.  The problem, as told to me, was that a PTO (precision testing officer) has to go to the exchange and make sure the building is connected properly.  Why was an engineer sent, wasting his time and my time (with no apparent hope of success), when they knew what the problem was?  No schedule for when/if this will happen was given.  So ultimately, absolutely nothing has been accomplished in about two months (from when I first contacted BT to move our services).  I tried calling the order tracking number at 01325561339, and was hung up on while in the queue, so I have no idea what the status of everything is.
It is abundantly clear to me now that the communication between different departments within BT is virtually non-existent - fairly ironic for a telecommunications company.  I've had to try and piece together what the problem is from talking to various people through this forum, phone calls, the engineer, etc. - surely not my job as a customer?  There are so many examples of poor communication within BT, and it is exhaustingly frustrating.  For example:
- all flats in our building have the same preinstalled fibre-optic terminal (and therefore could be serviced by the same person), but multiple BT engineers visited multiple flats around the same time - why is this not coordinated?  Surely multiple appointments could be attended by the same engineer.  With such inefficiency, it is no surprise that appointments are only available weeks away.
- Despite the fact that we are waiting for our services to be activated and currently have no services at all, I have been called by the BT sales team, asking if I would like to sign up (to which I responded that I'VE BEEN TRYING!!....although I never actually left BT as this all started as a home move), and I was also billed for two months of service (only noticed when checking my bank statement - my bills do not appear on MyBT).  This indicates to me that there is no communication between the sales, billing, and customer service/order team at all.  After yet another phone call to BT, they refunded the charges, but this clearly should not be necessary.
BT can have all the call centers they want (and everyone I have ever spoken with has been perfectly nice), but if the staff have no information and no power to actually accomplish anything, it is all a waste of money and effort.  In the interest of fairness, when I have had BT services working, I have had no problem, but all I have attempted to do is have services moved from one home to another (with everything preinstalled - no physical work has been done or needed during this delay).  If BT cannot accomplish what should be a routine and straightforward task (in the middle of London), then they are failing miserably as a company.  When people laugh, roll their eyes, etc. when the name of your company is mentioned, you're probably not performing very well (it doesn't help when you spend billions on premier league rights while continuing to provide appalling customer service).
At this point I don't even know who to contact so I'm posting here out of frustration.  Ugh.