Raging

I had a windows laptop and ran my Adobe Photoshop CS6. Last year I bought an iMac. I was told by Adobe customer services that I could run photoshop across my two machines. I/e windows & iMac. They sent me a disc for my iMac and for the past year I have running it successfully on both windows laptop and iMac.
I recently had to reformat my windows hard drive. When I tried to reload my windows photoshop it tells me that the serial number has been revoked. Spoke to Adobe last week only to be told that although i can run it on two machines, i can't run it across two different platforms (not what i was originally told !!)
I visited the Photography Show in Birmingham at the weekend. I headed to the Adobe stand and asked the question. Can i use it across windows and mac. The Adobe representative confidently told me that because i had reformatted my drive without uninstalling the software this was why it was saying it was revoked. He told me to contact customer services and assured me they would sort it as i can definitely use it on windows and mac so long as it isn't more than 2 machines.
Contacted Customer services today and they are still saying that I can use it across two machines but it has to be the same platform on both machines.
I'm so angry as I don't see why I should be penalised because my two machines are different operating systems, yet if i had two of the same there would be no problem.
Surely someone at Adobe can override this decision ?????

PURDIESMITH wrote:
I had a windows laptop and ran my Adobe Photoshop CS6. Last year I bought an iMac. I was told by Adobe customer services that I could run photoshop across my two machines. I/e windows & iMac. They sent me a disc for my iMac and for the past year I have running it successfully on both windows laptop and iMac.
Perpetual CS licenses are platform specific, and always have been. You can run it on two machines, but you cannot do so on different platforms. You can switch platform if you have a current release (or upgrade to one), but from that point the other, old serial number is void and useless and will be revoked by Adobe.
These are the facts.
Are you absolutely sure you didn't misunderstand at the time? That they gave you a "cross-grade" and expected you to destroy the Windows version?

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    In my city small claims is $5000.00
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    http://www.bbb.org
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    i only
    solution found so far is to uninstall PCAnywhere, then all returns to normal.
    16. It has also been found that either Efax or Winfax software installed to the system can cause the dreaded "Visual C++ Runtime Error" which will crash Encore. Microsoft support have confirmed that if you see this error, you need a hotfix KB884538, from www.microsoft.com in the support area.
    Install the hotfix, and if the error remains, check for either of these fax programs. If either are present, remove them, reboot and all should now work.
    17. Roxio Easy CD Creator - General issues.
    Firstly, when uninstalling any Roxio application it is best to do this from the "Add Remove Programs" applet in Control Panel, as usual. However - this will NOT remove all Roxio's tentacles from your system. To be sure all is definitely removed, you need to visit 
    http://www.microadvantage.net/downloads/zapper60.zip
    and run this. When you are done, you can then reboot and the evil Roxio will finally be gone.
    Another common issue with Roxio is when Nero also co-exists on the same system. The two 
    i loathe
    each other and are apparently incapable of co-existing.
    If you have noth these installed there is an additional set of stuff to go through. Remove Roxio first, then reboot, then remove Nero completely beginning by uninstalling from "Add Remove Programs" and then we also need to get rid of all the various tendrils it has also addeed to the system using the following tools:
    (You must use all 3 of Nero's Clean tools in order to do the job correctly.)
    They can all be found here:
    http://www.nero.com/us/631940828445001.htm
    1. General Clean tool
    2. Registry cleaner and driver cleaner
    3. InCD Clean tool
    When you reinstall Nero 6.6 OR Neros new 7 Ultra Edition, DO NOT install InCD OR if you do, turn it off in startup under msconfig (better to not install it) 
    18 - FindSounds Palette 
    This is a tool designed to help you find SFX on your drives, and it seems to prevent Encore from importing M2V files for some reason, and should be uninstalled if present.
    To uninstall this, do the following steps:
    Uninstall "Find Sounds Palette" (FS Palette).
    Delete the two registry key folders for "Comparisonics".
    Uninstall Encore CS3.
    Delete Registry Keys for Encore.
    Restart.
    Install Encore CS3.
    Install Encore 3.0.1 update.
    Restart.
    19 - Quicken
    It has been reported that if you back up your Quicken files to CD, then Quicken sets up your DVD burner for CD DLA through the built-in Windows burning facility.  This assignment recurs each time your system is restarted.  When this happens, Encore will see your burner as a CD burner only.  You'll have to manually disable this start-up assignment to get Encore to see your burner as a DVD burner again.
    Additionally, it is a good idea to disable Autorun for your burner, preferably from the registry. While this will not prevent anything polling the drive from the OS to try & "helpfully" check for freshly inserted media, it will prevent sneaky DRM applications from installing themselves to your system just by having the disc inserted. As well as the registry hack required, there are other methods of stopping this described at
    http://www.annoyances.org/exec/show/article03-018
    To do the registry hack, perform the following:
    * Run the Registry Editor (REGEDIT.EXE).
    * Navigate to HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SYSTEM\CurrentControlSet\Services\Cdrom.
    * Double-click the Autorun value, and type 0 for its value. (If it's not there, create it by selecting Edit -> New -> DWORD Value, and typing "Autorun" for its name.)
    * You may have to log out and then log back in for this change to take effect.
    * Note: With this solution, Windows will no longer be notified when you insert a new CD. To make sure the correct icon and title for the current CD are displayed in My Computer and Explorer, press F5 to refresh the window. 
    If you perform any of these changes, you may need to uninstall your software, then re-install to fix any damage left. If you find some of these packages, please shut down and reboot twice to ensure that the last pieces of the conflicting software are completely removed.

    You're lucky then Steve.
    Roxio is one of those apps that usually doesn't play nice with any other burning software at all.
    I use GEAR Pro Mastering Edition.
    They also do a cheaper version called GEAR Video - but be aware that this installs DivX as well - although I have to say that on one of our systems running Adobe 1.5 versions of Encore & Premiere Pro, it is causing no conflicts at all. But there have definitely been major problems with DivX codecs and EncoreDVD. Perhaps it is to do with where they come from, perhaps I just got lucky in this case.
    It might be worth a trial version though - although if you have the budget, and do a LOT of DVD, then GEAR Pro Mastering Edition is an invaluable tool I have found.

  • I have done absalutely nothing to my 4g apple ipod touch, and it over heats, won't hold a charge, and the front camera will not work. I bought this brand new in december, and i've barely used it. I've tried restarting it and everything, what should i do?

    I have done absalutely nothing to my 4g apple ipod touch, and it over heats, won't hold a charge, and the front camera will not work. I bought this brand new in december, and i've barely used it. I've tried restarting it and everything, I honestly think this is out raging because i spend over $200 on this. To have for music and instagram. I use it about an hour a day, but i've only been using it for about 3 months although i've had it since December. Any suggestions that may help me?

    Try:
    - A reset. Nothing is lost
    Reset iPod touch: Hold down the On/Off button and the Home button at the same time for at
    least ten seconds, until the Apple logo appears.
    - Restore from backup
    - Restore to factory settings/new iPod
    If still problem make an appointment at the Genius Bar of an Apple store.

  • IPhone4 Battery life: The report you all have been waiting for!!!

    Hello fellow iPhoners,
    I'm a proud owner of an iPhone4 who have been getting sporadic battery performance for a little while. One day I can get 5 to 6 hours of usage while another the phone can barely make it past 4 hours doing the same things.
    Therefore, I decided to start my own observation and document my findings regarding why my iPhone 4 can give me good battery on some days and terrible in others.
    Intro:
    Now I'm sure all of you have read all the typical battery saving tips such as turn off fetch, dont game too much blah blah blah. Well, I wanted to know what is the real world impact do these things really do on battery and how much better is the battery life with them off.
    The following are always ON for me: Wifi, notifications (no push or fetch), edge (I never use 3g - too slow anyway).
    Screen brightness is set in the middle so IOS decides when to raise or lower it. Actually IOS seems to only be able to brighten the screen if you say, walk from a dark to well lit room. The reverse seems not possible. You must put your phone to sleep and wake it in order for the display to dims.
    Keep in mind I typically get between 6 to 7 hours of medium usage. But I set out to find why do I get
    less than 5 hours in some cases.
    Observations:
    1. After placing iphone in charge at night, went to sleep, woke up in morning to find that the iphone was at 65% and losing power while still PLUGGED IN. I had to unplug and replug.
    2. Sometimes iphone will get real hot while I'm not using it. Even after a reboot, it would continue to remain hot and drains battery.
    3. Observation 2 (above) has only happen 2 times unexpectedly.
    Answers to Observations:
    1. I no longer plug my iPhone on certain outlets to charge. I have come to realize that all outlets aren't equal and while some of them will charge up the iphone very fast, it tends to lose that power very fast also which would contribute to the days where I barely get 4 hours out of it. Thus I recommend plugging your phone into a wall outlet and not via an extended outlet. Also using USB to power it up via my PC doesn't provide the best battery life either.
    2. When my iPhone4 gets hot on standby, I know the processor is still running(very fast) which to me means an app is still running even though IOS4 is SUPPOSED to only SUSPEND apps in the background. However, we dont know and assume apps that have not been updated to OS4 simply get closed when we press the home button. Well, I have never updated my AP Mobile app (because the latest update *****) and I feel like it may be one of the culprits that render my phone a hand warmer. However, I also feel like Call Of Duty: Zombies might be another culprit as I always have used one of these apps when the phone keeps getting hot.
    Now of course I won't blame these apps solely as I also feel IOS4 itself IS buggy and may be the bigger culprit. Sometimes X'ing out everything in the background tray solved the hotness problem, sometimes it doesn't and the phone will keep on dropping in battery until it dies.
    Now I always wondered how did apple arrive at their claim of "up to 14 hours talk time on 2g" and "up to 10 hours of internet use on wifi" when I can barely get within that vicinity. While I have been able to figure out how I potentially could get 14 hours of talk time on edge, I still can't see how 10 hours of internet is possible on wifi because... wait for it... WIFI as I have just discovered is one of the biggest slow battery drainers.
    It's true. According to my observations, with Wifi TURNED OFF my iPhone will drop 1% of battery every 7 to 8 minutes of light usage such as reading a book via iBooks or reading jokes on iPhunny. If you do the math, 7.5 x 100 = 750 /60 = 12.5 hours of light usage. Remember this is with wifi off and on edge only.
    Now with WIFI ON and about 2 notifications for apps, doing the same exact thing, I get between 4 to 5 minutes per 1% of battery. One may say, that's not a huge difference, but it is sizable when we do the math, 4.5 x 100 = 450 /60 = 7.5 hours of light usage. This falls in line with my usual 5 to 6 hours since I tend to play a lot of games as well, which required more battery usage than say just reading a book.
    This also hold true for when the phone is on standby which drops 1% every 40 to 60 minutes with wifi OFF. With wifi ON, it was about half the time.
    When I turned off notifications completely with wifi still ON, I failed to notice any significant improvements to battery life as a whole.
    QUESTION:
    Since I'm not an apple engineer, I was wondering if any body knows an answer to this: I'm aware that the iphone - when wifi is enabled- will keep on scanning all the time. However, I was under the impression that once it FINDS AND CONNECTS to a network, that it should STOP scanning. I mean, why should it keep on scanning if it's connected to a network already?
    But, I feel like the reason why battery life is so different with wifi ON is because it keeps on scanning no matter what. So there's always this tiny process running all the time.
    Conclusion:
    Despite over blown antenna issues, iPhone4 is a great device with great battery life to boot. The question is whether you are fine with say 6 to 7 hours of usage? If you would like to get more, remember to use a good outlet, turn off 3g if you dont need the data speed since phone calls tend to drop less on edge anyway, and turn off wifi when you dont really need it. Those remedies can add at least 2 extra hours of usage for you.
    DISCLAIMER: Please all the above is only my opinion based on my own observation of my own iPhone4. I'm no professional techie or engineer. So no flaming or raging.
    Thanks!

    I couldn't do either here is why.
    1. I have a back drop and the un-cropped image would look horrible and unprofessional   
    2. I have 400 kids and to crop and export each size differently would would be a confusing nightmare for everyone not to mention the time involved as I have pretty 8 difference sizes in each package.
    It should be able to be done like life touch offers these kinds of packages all the time

  • I am getting really upset, i just got my iphone 5c and itunes cant seem to restore and update it ? it has made 7 errors so far, i followed the more information suggestion but it is so irratating because it doesnt seem to work..and i cant even turn it on

    help...i cant seem to sort this out and itunes are really doing my head in...keeps saying check you have the right version when i have the most up  to date version of itunes, it tells me to restart the computer and i do..then it still doesnt work and now i cant even turn my iphone on without it wanting itunes and not moving past the page...i am seriously needing help before i go completely insane! it isnt working and i cant call vodafone or apple because it will not work at all and its not even a day old. I am near the end of my tether with this and i have never had this problem before, raging isnt even the word i would use to describe how i am feeling.

    LelouchGeass wrote:
    so if you have any ideas on whether i screwed up the inside or its because the screens cable is unattached please let me know.
    Yes, you have screwed it up. Time to buy a new phone.

  • Is it possible to retrieve the broken motherboard and get a replacement.

    Hello everyone, I'm desperate for help now. I just had a look with this forum today and realised many people have been suffering the same sudden death issue of Z3C.I know the original post was too long so I edited it
    I experienced the same issue in last December, at first it was the motherboard issue so they got it replaced but when they tried to set it up the screen was broken, so I have no idea how long I have to wait. I just want to say It had been a joy and wonderful experience to use the phone so there were actually a lot of important information and memorable things kept in the phone which I would die for, I even tried to request that would it be possible to have the damaged motherboard back or could they at least try to restore the datas back to the phone. If anyone has done similar thing before and managed to complain through email please let me know the email I will be very appreciate!
    Original:
    Spoiler (Highlight to read)
    I bought this phone in the end of last September and this is speaking from a proud loyal user of Sony products and I have owned wide range of products like Bravia television, home theater system, and Playstations, they have been a great pleasure to me. Before the release of Z3 Compact, I was desperately looking for a small sized phone with capability of good performance until I saw the advertising of Z3 Compact, so I had finally found a phone that best suited my every needs. I'd been enjoying every single feature of the phone but it was only 2 months since I bought it then the phone died suddenly when I woke up the next morning and I had an important meeting that day. Due to the problem of course I could not make it in the end. I had done everything I could but the phone could not be turned on at all, so there was entirely no way for me to back up everything before I sent it to repair. I could say it was very unfortunate for me because I have many friends who are still using high-end Xperia phones like Z2 and they are still running fine even until this day. 
    Finally I got a call few weeks ago so I thought I could finally get it after such a long wait. Instead I was told that it was the mainboard issue so a new one got replaced, but when they tried to set up the phone they noticed the screen was broken, so they had to deliver it again to the headquarter of repair centre in Kuala Lumpur. I have been waiting for nearly two months. Most importantly is that I have to study overseas next month so what should I do if the same problem happens again? Therefore I asked for a replacement and they said they would try for it and wait for approval from their manager but chances are very low.
    For quite sometime I have been looking for the email of customer support but so far I could only manage to get the contact number, seriously Sony? Maybe it was my mistake but I just couldn't find the email contact except for regions like US and Europe since those regions are far more popular compared to where I am, a country that probably no one has ever heard of-Malaysia. I know it's no luck to seek for support from Sony Malaysia, so I was actually trying to look for international office for Asia region, but so far I could only find Australia and Hong Kong, therefore I gave it a try but it appeared to be an error link that led to nowhere.
    Since I couldn't find the email at all I was given no choice but to call the customer support. I was really frustrated and unsatisfied with the solution they offered during the first call, saying that if the phone breaks again I can only bring it back from overseas to the repair centre in my home country just to get it fixed whenever I have the chance to go back.
    I just want to say It had been a joy and wonderful experience to use the phone so there were actually a lot of important information and memorable things kept in the phone which I would die for, I even tried to request that would it be possible to have the damaged motherboard back or could they at least try to restore the datas back to the phone. Although I know I can't do anything with it but who knows maybe someday there is someone expert enough in IT can lend me a hand in such case. I know it's their policy to not return the damaged parts to customers but it's only my very little request even if they can't get me a replacement.
    Since Sony is such a giant corporation, hasn't there been any solution they can offer since most users of Z3C are experiencing the same issue? Instead of raging my disappointments through internet which could spread false information and negatively affect the reputation, I hope this is the best way to solve my problems and let everyone knows.
    I'm sorry if the post is too long but this is the best way to express my feeling. If anyone has similar experience or knows the email, please let me know and any help provided will be much appreciated.
    I bought this phone in the end of last September and this is speaking from a proud loyal user of Sony products and I have owned wide range of products like Bravia television, home theater system, and Playstations, they have been a great pleasure to me. Before the release of Z3 Compact, I was desperately looking for a small sized phone with capability of good performance until I saw the advertising of Z3 Compact, so I had finally found a phone that best suited my every needs. I'd been enjoying every single feature of the phone but it was only 2 months since I bought it then the phone died suddenly when I woke up the next morning and I had an important meeting that day. Due to the problem of course I could not make it in the end. I had done everything I could but the phone could not be turned on at all, so there was entirely no way for me to back up everything before I sent it to repair. I could say it was very unfortunate for me because I have many friends who are still using high-end Xperia phones like Z2 and they are still running fine even until this day.  Finally I got a call few weeks ago so I thought I could finally get it after such a long wait. Instead I was told that it was the mainboard issue so a new one got replaced, but when they tried to set up the phone they noticed the screen was broken, so they had to deliver it again to the headquarter of repair centre in Kuala Lumpur. I have been waiting for nearly two months. Most importantly is that I have to study overseas next month so what should I do if the same problem happens again? Therefore I asked for a replacement and they said they would try for it and wait for approval from their manager but chances are very low. For quite sometime I have been looking for the email of customer support but so far I could only manage to get the contact number, seriously Sony? Maybe it was my mistake but I just couldn't find the email contact except for regions like US and Europe since those regions are far more popular compared to where I am, a country that probably no one has ever heard of-Malaysia. I know it's no luck to seek for support from Sony Malaysia, so I was actually trying to look for international office for Asia region, but so far I could only find Australia and Hong Kong, therefore I gave it a try but it appeared to be an error link that led to nowhere.  Since I couldn't find the email at all I was given no choice but to call the customer support. I was really frustrated and unsatisfied with the solution they offered during the first call, saying that if the phone breaks again I can only bring it back from overseas to the repair centre in my home country just to get it fixed whenever I have the chance to go back. I just want to say It had been a joy and wonderful experience to use the phone so there were actually a lot of important information and memorable things kept in the phone which I would die for, I even tried to request that would it be possible to have the damaged motherboard back or could they at least try to restore the datas back to the phone. Although I know I can't do anything with it but who knows maybe someday there is someone expert enough in IT can lend me a hand in such case. I know it's their policy to not return the damaged parts to customers but it's only my very little request even if they can't get me a replacement. Since Sony is such a giant corporation, hasn't there been any solution they can offer since most users of Z3C are experiencing the same issue? Instead of raging my disappointments through internet which could spread false information and negatively affect the reputation, I hope this is the best way to solve my problems and let everyone knows. I'm sorry if the post is too long but this is the best way to express my feeling. If anyone has similar experience or knows the email, please let me know and any help provided will be much appreciated.

    Sorry to hear that, but this forum is for us, users, and what you need is someone from Xperia Care to find your motherboard and send it back, I don't think it'll be possible to retrieve any data from a broken motherboard. 
    "I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not." Kurt Cobain (1967-1994)

  • Changing Apple ID on multiple devices

    Hi,
    Our family recently changed our email address.  Realizing that I had to change our Apple ID, I logged in and did so on the account.  Now I have everyone in the house 'raging'! No one can log into their stuff because the popup is locked and they cannot even log in as the old apple id simply pops up every single time.
    We have 2 apple TV's, 2 ipads, 2 iphones and multiple computers.  It just seems crazy that it is so difficult to manage our account.  We have spent thousands and thousands of dollars with Apple but it feels so user unfriendly.  There isn't even an email support address where one can write for assistance.
    Does anyone know how I can change the pop up of the Apple id of our other devices after the account has already been changed?
    Please help our family so I can get some peace. 
    Thank you

    On the iPads and iPhones tap on the id in Settings > iTunes & App Store on them and log out and then log back in with the updated version of the id. On the computers you can log out via the Store > Sign Out menu option - that will then change to a Store > Sign In option. Not sure about Apple TV, I don't have one so I don't know how to log out/in/

  • Searching for a genuine fix; last chance before I ...

    The Rafiner BT Chronicles
    ACT I
    I moved into my house in August 2011.  After doing research, I decided to go with BT for phone/broadband as it seemed like the best all around deal for my needs.  There are 5 in my family, all on their iphones/ipads/iphones/pc's/macs.  From the beginning, I've had multiple issues (crackling lines, internet connection dropping, and speeds that would make dial-up look like fibre-optic speed).  I consider myself quite knowledgeable about technology, and often times finding myself fixing other friends/familiy/workmates computers/broadband problems.
    Since being with BT, I would estimate I've contacted them 4-5 times prior to this latest problem in regard to slow connection speeds/crackling lines, and other than on one occasion problem was quickly resolved and my meager speed was back, usually 1-2mbps on an outstanding day, though typically 400-800 kbps avg I would guess.  I've always thought that well… I live in an area a good 3000 meters from the exchange, and have learned to 'adapt' with the 400-800kbps.
    However, over the past six months, the crackling on the phone has progressively worsened, as has dropped internet connections and dipping speeds (especially last month).  Early this week, a phone call on my landline was impossible as it sounded like plain static with the caller mumbling through it.  So, as much as I didn't want to call India or where-ever the customer service is located, I did.... and so my adventure begins.... settle yourself in your chair… buckle up... get a cuppa… and put your feet up.
    Call one - probably 25 or 26 June.  I spoke to someone whom I could barely understand and tried all the basics (which I explained I had already done), but entertained her anyway jumping through the hoops of making sure everything is plugged in and such.  Lines were tested and the sort... golden.  After a good 45 minutes of 'troubleshooting', I was told an engineer would need to come out, and I should be prepared to pay £100 as the problem was likely my house wiring.  This was obviously upsetting and I argued I shouldn't have to pay a penny considering I've been paying for 'broadband' that acts like dial-up for just about a year now.  Anyway, she had to read the stipulations... fine, I get it.  I was told an engineer would be with me Friday morning 29 June… whatever, I just want the service I'm paying for.
    So the week went by with essentially unuseable internet and a static boombox for a phone... thank God for my iPhone and 3G.  The engineer arrived promptly Friday morning as I was advised and soon got to work.  After a few tests in house at the main socket, he thought it was likely the 'lines' (what a shocker!) and would need to go out to track down where the disconnect was.  He was gone for a good 45-60 minutes, and on return was smiling/laughing saying my line was so rotten it was a miracle it was even suspended from the posts.  He did some work too in Boughton (village around corner) where 'the box' is.  From my research online, my exchange is in Stoke Ferry, so I'm not sure what 'the box' is, but apparently it's important.  He also replaced my main socket plate with an Openreach BT one (one slot located middle lower third of plate) which to my understanding has the noise filter built in.  He seemed as excited as me to try the BT Speedtest.  I did so with him watching and this was the result which is an acutal copy/paste from www.speedtester.bt.com ...
    Download speed achieved during the test was - 0.69 Mbps
     For your connection, the acceptable range of speeds  is 0.2 Mbps-1 Mbps.
     Additional Information: Your DSL Connection Rate :5.63 Mbps(DOWN-STREAM), 0.45 Mbps(UP-STREAM)
     IP Profile for your line is - 0.75 Mbps
    The engineer explained the problem was clearly with the line and that now my speeds should be approx 90% of the 5.63 Mbps so around a blazing 5 Mbps... I was so overcome with passionate joy I just about jumped in his arms and proposed on the spot... you can do that now right?  Anyway, I withheld from those wicked desires and settled on a good old fashioned handshake, a smile, a simple 'thanks so much', and 'would you like a cup of tea or perhaps a full roast dinner if you have the time". 
    However, the caveat was that due to my lines being **bleep** for so long, the IP Profile had dumbed down my connection speed to .75 Mbps.  He explained I would need to call BT customer service and have them reset my IP Profile though he was positive this was the reason of my terrible connection and unbroadband like speeds and my hip new static player (phone).   Easy, I thought as he drove out the driveway.
    The minute he was gone, I was on the phone with BT to explain to reset the IP Profile.  You would have thought I was explaining how quantum physics work.  They didn't seem to understand what I meant, and to my dismay.... I just about lost it, but held it together..... and yes…. of course, again went through all the basics, checking my line, connections all fitted properly.  bla bla bla.  Check, check, check.  Eventually, after being on hold for a good 5 minutes, the representative (if I can call them that... seemed more like a script-reader to me) came back and stated we'd have to reset the IP Profile..... TA-DAH!!!!!!  HOLY BIRD T**D BATMAN!!!  Ya' think - that's what I called specifically to request! In the words of Shaggy from Scooby-Doo; ZOINKS!   I was gobsmacked.  I really do think a tear fell from my eye... a single tear of disbelief though it could have been laughter… no way to be sure really.
    Other thoughts ran through my mind... which I can't post here so will substitute freely with the following...."Son of biscuit, for crying out loud, for heaven's-sake, cheese and friggin' rice... you get the idea.  I was told the IP profile reset will take 3 days... and to expect gradual improvement during that time hopefully into tonight and tomorrow.  After coming out of this wormhole conversation and back to reality, I somehow mustered up the courage to ask about compensation for not just the past few months, but even going back to the beginning of entering my contract seeing as it has constantly been slow to useless and the static sounding device... I mean phone, which we don't use much anyway.  She politely explained we could do something about that though to first resolve the problem.  For once, I couldn't agree more.
    -------------INTERMISSION--------- go grab a coffee, tea, or another beverage of your choice -----------------------------------
    Act II
    So, after the call I just had to distance myself from all things technology for a few hours drained from the repetitive explaining/'troubleshooint'/and troubleshooting (good ideas that is).  Later that night, couldn't help but check the speedtester again... but no change.  However, since the engineer came out the internet has not once dropped… and still hasn't so that line thing has some merit (yippee).  This morning, checked again the ol' speedtester with all appendages crossed, anxiously waiting/watching the green status bar move across the screen with bated breath in the hope of seeing progress... and.... drumroll please.... (here comes the copy and paste again).....
    Download speedachieved during the test was - 0.12 Mbps
    For your connection, the acceptable range of speeds is 0.05 Mbps-0.25 Mbps.
     Additional Information:  Your DSL Connection Rate :5.73 Mbps(DOWN-STREAM), 0.45 Mbps(UP-STREAM)
     IP Profile for your line is - 0.14 Mbps
    *************** BA-DUMP TSSSSSSHHHHHH****************   My IP Profile is down 80% from yesterdays?!?!?!
     (end of drum-roll, appendages coming uncrossed, heart sinking, nausea ensues, England loses again in penalties)
    The array of aformentioned substitute words/phrases again raced to mind as I reached for my landline.  The crackle previously heard on the phone, by the way, was 90% gone, though certainly not normal/clean, but at this point, I could give a flying Crayola !  I just want useable true broadband at the approx 5 Mbps the ENGINEER thinks I should easily have.... or at least see progress towards it like he and customer service said I'd see over the next few days.  Anywhooooo, checked everything again... all good... all lines/plugs still secure (sarcasm).  Speedtested an hour or two later... still the same, so as I hadn't seen progress.... well, it had actually worsened considerably ... I called the dreaded customer service number of doom that links you to another universe of brilliantly trained Shakesperean script-readers with barely comprehensible accents.  Of course, during the beginnings of this inevitable call, my three children are all on their best behavior as the wife is having a nap (more sarcasm).
    It's a Saturday, so there was a good 10 minute wait to talk to a rep but got one nonetheless eventually.  I can be a patient man.  I proceeded to again explain the saga to this point.  Not to my surprise, the response was 'let's first check you connections, where is your main socket, how many phones do you have connected, what's your mobile number, yada, yada, friggin'  yada' for the umpteeeeeenth time.  I realize it's not the individual's fault, and by all means, he HAS to stick to the script or who knows, maybe he'd be shot/tazed/lasered or something.  Different universe, different rules... you just don't know these days do you.  Besides, by this point it's getting humorous even for me.  So another 30 min passes, he tells me my line is fine though again doesn't seem to understand what I'm on about in regard to the profile reset ... I don't think they put that bit in the script... you guys really should add that in for good measure because it seems to carry great importance.  Anyway, he did have a new idea so I was game... to remove my brand new (one day old remembern) Openreach faceplace installed by the engineer the morning before, and to plug the line directly into that.  Did so... easy enough.  He then ran some further rigorous and I'm sure different than previous tests through the mainframe and called me back to say 'Sir, I have vvvvvery good news, your line is fine'; your problem is a faulty socketplate! (YES, THE BRAND NEW ONE INSTALLED THE DAY PRIOR… sorry for the caps, but there's no other way to express my emotion).  I can see you have 5.6 some Mbps connection."
    Okay... so now the the coolness/patience/humour was fading... rightfully so I would argue.  I kept him on the phone, did the old speedchecker.... again.... and got the EXACT same:
    Your DSL Connection Rate :5.73 Mbps(DOWN-STREAM), 0.45 Mbps(UP-STREAM)
     IP Profile for your line is - 0.14 Mbps.
    Thus, obviously, the bleeeeeeeding flippin' plate hasn't got a sausage to do with it.  I explained over and over like Rain-Man that though my line is capable of 5.7 Mbps, due to the profile I'm now down to -0.14….. -0.14!   Oh, the misery!  I reluctantly tried to inquire about the ip profile reset thing and why it was worsening instead of improving, but just got lots of 'ummmms, urrrrrrs, and sirs'.  Got nowhere, well actually, now that I think about it… went backwards…. Awesome!  I said there's no way it's the plate explaining why with human logic the speed test before and after takingit off it didn't change a thing, but fine, get another engineer or someone.... someTHING that can remedy this.  The response.... "Sir, yes I can do that for you, but you must understand there will very likely be a £100 charge for the service call as the problem is your wiring/plate."
    At that point, the marbles were nowhere to be seen, the beans were everywhere, the bull was entering the china shop, chickens would be counted (even the unhatched ones),  the words were to be given to the wise, and yes... cows were to be had.  Just before I began to look to the sky in a raging Wolverine cry of anger and/or turn green and bulge to point of wearing nothing but purple shredded trousers, I still somehow kept it together and 'asked' to speak to someone else, a service manager of sorts.  Silly me, that never happened as they live in our universe (duh!), but after again running though the logic of it all, another 5 minute hold while he went again through the script searching frantically for 'IP Profile reset' and 'Service Manager/supervisor requests' , I was told my line would be monitored for 24 hours and I'd be contacted tomorrow by... 'The Level II Team'. 
    Oooooooohhhhhhhh….ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, I do so pray they live in my world.  Quite excited about this Level II Team and I oh so hope they will have a direct phone number.
    Right.  I think that is about it.  In a nutshell, yep, that sums up the adventure so far.  Please, please, please... I beg, I implore, I pray and I plead for this to be resolved.  I'm just about ready to take a chainsaw to the telephone pole (joking, joking, I kid, I kid) and just rely on my 3G which essentially is what I've been doing already for zonks.  And we both know that one zonk = a long time.
    Well, if nothing else, I've found this quite therapeutic.  I off course am emailing you this for action/resolution/compensation.  Considering I've created a reasonably good mini-drama script here myself, I'll be sharing too with some friends.  Given the insane runaround and regression of progress thus far, I can assure you of the following:
    - If I have to pay a penny more....
    - Have to make more phone calls to 'the alternate universe of script-readers'....
    - don't receive some form of reasonable compensation for now just about a year of terrible service...
    - and ultimately, if this doesn't get resolved in a timely manner without my continued pushing/reexplaining...
    I will make it my mission to spread this to every forum, business complaint sites, facebook (oh, that will be a good one), perhaps a few papers as well as I do have some media contacts who given a read, might be interested in publishing.  I do believe readers like a chuckle as well as do I.  And of course, I will abandon all things BT will no doubt encourage  encourage others to.  There's even the possibility of a turning the script into a full feature film for Youtube, I'd enjoy doing it.
    All I want is the service I'm paying for.  What BT is selling.  To be treated like a customer.  I understand technical difficulties will happen and the lines in my area are obviously bad... but this keeps coming back to the customer to take care of instead of the company.  It's an endless circle and I've gotten absolutely nowhere with the exception of this marvelous novel.  I don't even know if I'll be able to post this anyway given my connection!  Thankfully, I can copy/paste and use my trusty 3G if that's the case.  You guys really need to speak to Apple - where is the infrastructure?  The customer service?
    Please do pass this upwards, downwards, to your left and right.... to whomever... wherever... to a resource who can remedy the problem.
    …Its been real.
    Humbly yours with regards and prayer,
    Your customer,
    James Rafiner                    ENQUIRY REFERENCE NUMBER -  120630-******

    Thanks for the replies... I don't go on forums much but BT has not been any help so I'm trying it.  Anyway, just got off the phone with the level II team who has confirmed that no one has ever reset by IP profile.... wonderful.  So, essentially I was lied to on muliple occasions.  Supposively being reset now and will get a call back in 3 days as it stabilizes.  
    However, in the meantime... here's the data from my router and the latest Speed-test copy/pasted - let me know if you need anything else, but I do think this IP profile reset will work eventually:
    BT SPEED TEST - Download speedachieved during the test was - 0.12 Mbps
     For your connection, the acceptable range of speeds is 0.05 Mbps-0.25 Mbps.
     Additional Information:
     Your DSL Connection Rate :5.73 Mbps(DOWN-STREAM), 0.45 Mbps(UP-STREAM)
     IP Profile for your line is - 0.14 Mbps 
    ROUTER INFO ....
    ADSL Line Status
    Connection information
    Line state:
    Connected
    Connection time:
    0 day, 10:40:17
    Downstream:
    5,472 Kbps
    Upstream:
    448 Kbps
      ADSL settings
    VPI/VCI:
    0/38
    Type:
    PPPoA
    Modulation:
    G.992.1 Annex A
    Latency type:
    Interleaved
    Noise margin (Down/Up):
    9.8 dB / 20.0 dB
    Line attenuation (Down/Up):
    47.0 dB / 27.5 dB
    Output power (Down/Up):
    20.2 dBm / 12.1 dBm
    FEC Events (Down/Up):
    37853 / 17
    CRC Events (Down/Up):
    141 / 5
    Loss of Framing (Local/Remote):
    0 / 0
    Loss of Signal (Local/Remote):
    0 / 0
    Loss of Power (Local/Remote):
    0 / 0
    Loss of Link (Remote):
    0
    HEC Errors (Down/Up):
    904 / 3
    Error Seconds (Local/Remote):
    0 / 0
    Thanks again!

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