Restore help for an idiot

Hi all,
Its probably an easy one for you guys but I am fed up and bewildered by how complicated Apple make things!
I got an iPhone 5 from my other half as she upgraded to the 6. I was using the 4s prior to it. I backed up my data to iCloud from the 4s. Erased her data from the 5 and then restored my data to the 5 via iCloud.
Most of my data transferred over to the 5 with the exception of 80% of my music which was purchased through iTunes directly from the 4s. i connected it up to iTunes on the laptop and could see all the music there but 80% was greyed out and inaccessible. No matter what I tried, I could not transfer my music on to the iPhone 5.
Unfortunately, a lot of her songs (which were on her laptop) are now on my iPhone. I did another back up and restore but its still the same.
Im freaking out. All the songs I bought through iTunes are on the iPhone 4 and not on my iTunes library on the laptop or iPhone 5.
Any help would be appreciated. Iv no idea where I went wrong!

As the poster above suggests....
Download past purchases - Apple Support
(980)

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