Safari cannot open any file - online or local

Question

Hi Everyone,
I'm struggling with this issue: Safari cannot open anything. It can't open any website. It can't even open any local HTML files. When I put something in the location bar and hit enter, I get about a half inch of blue progress bar and then....nothing. Safari just stops. No error. Not even an attempt to do something. It just sits there. All the other functionality not involved with displaying HTML files works fine. I can change preferences and show the Develop menu. I just can't use the application for anything.
Catch 1: Firefox, Chrome, Opera, iTunes, every other app installed on my Mac works fine and can access the net. With one exception...
Catch 2: The App Store doesn't work either. I can't sign in. When I create a new account, I can't download any apps. (I get a "We could not complete your purchase. Unknown Error.") Nor can I sign out. I read that webkit is the same under the hood for both Safari and The App Store so maybe they are related.
Here's what I have tried:
- Deleting, re-downloading, and reinstalling Safari.
- Deleting .plists from Preferences and Safari folders in my Library.
- Checking Proxies settings (none set)
- Removing third party virus software (Didn't have any. I don't have FruitMenu or Application Enhancer either)
- No parental controls are set
- I've tried a whole bunch of other suggestions, from deleting com.apple.whatever files to repairing permissions, to resetting account permissions.
I'm using OS 10.7.5 and Safari 6. Firefox 15.0.1 and Chrome 22.0.1229.94 are fine. I have a separate MacBook pro with the same proxy settings and Safari settings that works just fine.
Please send help. I know it's something simple. I just want to find it so I can punch it in the face.

Answer 1

Did you log out after moving com.apple.LaunchServices.plist?
If you did, proceed as below.
Please read this whole message before doing anything.
This procedure is a diagnostic test. It won’t solve your problem. Don’t be disappointed when you find that nothing has changed after you complete it.
Third-party system modifications are a common cause of usability problems. By a “system modification,” I mean software that affects the operation of other software — potentially for the worse. The following procedure will help identify which such modifications you've installed. Don’t be alarmed by the complexity of these instructions — they’re easy to carry out and won’t change anything on your Mac. 
These steps are to be taken while booted in “normal” mode, not in safe mode. If you’re now running in safe mode, reboot as usual before continuing. 
Below are instructions to enter some UNIX shell commands. The commands are harmless, but they must be entered exactly as given in order to work. If you have doubts about the safety of the procedure suggested here, search this site for other discussions in which it’s been followed without any report of ill effects. 
Some of the commands will line-wrap or scroll in your browser, but each one is really just a single line, all of which must be selected. You can accomplish this easily by triple-clicking anywhere in the line. The whole line will highlight, and you can then either copy or drag it. The headings “Step 1” and so on are not part of the commands. 
Note: If you have more than one user account, Step 2 must be taken as an administrator. Ordinarily that would be the user created automatically when you booted the system for the first time. The other steps should be taken as the user who has the problem, if different. Most personal Macs have only one user, and in that case this paragraph doesn’t apply. 
Launch the Terminal application in any of the following ways: 
☞ Enter the first few letters of its name into a Spotlight search. Select it in the results (it should be at the top.) 
☞ In the Finder, select Go ▹ Utilities from the menu bar, or press the key combination shift-command-U. The application is in the folder that opens. 
☞ Open LaunchPad. Click Utilities, then Terminal in the icon grid. 
When you launch Terminal, a text window will open with a line already in it, ending either in a dollar sign (“$”) or a percent sign (“%”). If you get the percent sign, enter “sh” and press return. You should then get a new line ending in a dollar sign. 
Step 1 
Copy or drag — do not type — the line below into the Terminal window, then press return:
kextstat -kl | awk '!/com\.apple/{printf "%s %s\n", $6, $7}' 
Post the lines of output (if any) that appear below what you just entered (the text, please, not a screenshot.) You can omit the final line ending in “$”. 
Step 2 
Repeat with this line:
sudo launchctl list | sed 1d | awk '!/0x|com\.(apple|openssh|vix)|edu\.mit|org\.(amavis|apache|cups|isc|ntp|postfix|x)/{print $3}' 
This time, you'll be prompted for your login password, which won't be displayed when you type it. You may get a one-time warning not to screw up. You don't need to post the warning. 
Note: If you don’t have a login password, you’ll need to set one before taking this step. If that’s not possible, skip to the next step. 
Step 3
launchctl list | sed 1d | awk '!/0x|com\.apple|edu\.mit|org\.(x|openbsd)/{print $3}' 
Step 4
ls -1A /e*/mach* {,/}L*/{Ad,Compon,Ex,Fram,In,Keyb,La,Mail/Bu,P*P,Priv,Qu,Scripti,Servi,Spo,Sta}* L*/Fonts 2> /dev/null  
Important: If you formerly synchronized with a MobileMe account, your me.com email address may appear in the output of the above command. If so, anonymize it before posting. 
Step 5
osascript -e 'tell application "System Events" to get name of every login item' 2> /dev/null 
Remember, steps 1-5 are all drag-and-drop or copy-and-paste, whichever you prefer — no typing, except your password. Also remember to post the output. 
You can then quit Terminal.