Trouble connecting to computer from another

my roomate has a domain name attached to our IP... dont ask me why, but it's crackbaby.homeip.net
Note: we're on a LAN here and my computer is hidden so I setup port forwarding. Public port is the # of my choice and I made private port 22 (basically, from my understanding, if the outside world specifies the public port, then go into 22 on my computer)
Method 1:
ssh -D port user@host
where port is the public port, user is my login on my mac, and host is the domain name.
It appears to be trying to connect to my roomate's computer, which is a demilitarized zone (exposed to the internet. our ip = his computer) even when I specify the port. This is telling me that I can connect to our network but I'm unable to get to my OWN computer.
Method 2:
I turned on Personal File Sharing in Sys Prefs, forwarded the two ports it uses and tried to use "Connect to Server... afp://xyz" but it just sat there looking for my computer.
It's a lot of info to digest but I'd really like to get this figured out as I'm leaving town for a few days and will likely want to access my computer. I dont care if it's via a Terminal program (although I'll have to use one for OS 9 and there's no telling how limited I am on one of those) or 'afp' or whatever

Here are two more things since that post:
After doing some looking around, I edited /etc/hostconfig and added SSHSERVER=-YES-
also I tried -p instead of -D in the SSH command:
ssh -p public-port user@domain
(I told the router to forward Public-Port to port 22, which is what SSH uses)
Here are some things to note:
Without myself adding forwarding, I turned on Web Sharing (uses port 80)and I connected to the server using the domain name just fine.
Using another computer on the LAN, I was able to connect to myself via FTP by using my local IP, but using the domain name and accessing the FTP over the internet didnt work.
**I dont care so much about which protocol I use while Im out of town but I'd like to be able to get this access working and figure out what's going wrong.

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