I've tried everything I can possibly think of to improve my computer's performance, and it seems to be getting slower every day.

Question

Before I begin, let me post my system specs real quick:
Hardware Overview:
  Model Name: MacBook
  Model Identifier: MacBook5,1
  Processor Name: Intel Core 2 Duo
  Processor Speed: 2 GHz
  Number of Processors: 1
  Total Number of Cores: 2
  L2 Cache: 3 MB
  Memory: 4 GB
  Bus Speed: 1.07 GHz
  Boot ROM Version: MB51.007D.B03
  SMC Version (system): 1.32f8
  Serial Number (system): W8******1B0
  Hardware UUID: 90146DFB-93C5-5699-AB59-05403BEC071C
  Sudden Motion Sensor:
  State: Enabled
Storage:
  Available: 61.79 GB (61,793,218,560 bytes)
  Capacity: 255.2 GB (255,200,755,712 bytes)
  Mount Point: /
  File System: Journaled HFS+
  Writable: Yes
  Ignore Ownership: No
  BSD Name: disk0s2
  Volume UUID: 2DA6DBEC-85AD-3415-81FA-B6979712E3E5
  Physical Drive:
  Media Name: V4-CT256V4SSD2 Media
  Medium Type: SSD
  Protocol: SATA
  Internal: Yes
  Partition Map Type: GPT (GUID Partition Table)
  S.M.A.R.T. Status: Verified
So, a while ago I decided to get a SSD and upgrade to 4GB of RAM when I was still using Snow Leopard. Great investment, totally worth it. Well, for a while. Boot times were good at first. But they got sluggish. So of course I decided to upgrade to Mountain Lion because that would speed up my mac, right? Wrong. It takes my computer ten seconds from the time I push the power button to respond and begin booting. It takes anywhere from one to two and a half minutes to get to the login screen. On the login screen it won't respond to any input from keyboard, trackpad, or mouse for ten seconds more. When I type in my password, it's another thirty seconds to a minute before the spinning beach ball of death disappears and what should be my desktop appears. Instead I'm greeted by my desktop picture and nothing else. One to one and a half minutes later, my desktop, dock, and menu bar are all there in front of me. But we're not out of the woods yet. It takes about two or three more minutes before my computer becomes even remotely usable- if I just start clicking I'll get the beach ball of death and have to wait longer, watching my once-swift Google Chrome browser bounce endlessly up and down, never opening.
TL;DR: It takes way too long for my computer to start up given its specifications.
You might be poised at your keyboard right now, telling me to repair disk permissions, clear caches, reset PRAM and SMC, etc... but I've already done that. I have about 75GB free space on my solid state drive, so that's not an issue. I've used Onyx and CleanMyMac2 to clean up anything that could be causing the problem, and it hasn't fixed slow boot times and general sluggishness.
I've scoured the forums far and wide to find the answer that will transform my computer into the speed-demon it once was. That is why I have turned to you, dear internet, to aid me in my quest.
I'm not a digital dummy- I can follow just about any advice you give me if you're clear enough in explaining steps required. The OP in almost every thread I've visited thus far was clueless and simply needed routine maintenace or a hardware upgrade to fix the problem, and I know that can't be the issue... so what can?
(PS I did select the SSD as my startup disk after installing it)
<Edited By Host>

Answer 1

Here's the results of etrecheck:
Hardware Information:
          MacBook (13-inch, Aluminum, Late 2008)
          MacBook - model: MacBook5,1
          1 2 GHz Intel Core 2 Duo CPU: 2 cores
          4 GB RAM
Video Information:
          NVIDIA GeForce 9400M - VRAM: 256 MB
Startup Items:
          360ControlDaemon - Path: /Library/StartupItems/360ControlDaemon
          ParallelsDesktopTransporter - Path: /Library/StartupItems/ParallelsDesktopTransporter
System Software:
          OS X 10.8.4 (12E55) - Uptime: 0 days 1:39:57
Disk Information:
          V4-CT256V4SSD2 disk0 : (256.06 GB)
                    disk0s1 (disk0s1) <not mounted>: 209.7 MB
                    Ben's New Hard Drive (disk0s2) /: 255.2 GB (61.63 GB free)
                    Recovery HD (disk0s3) <not mounted>: 650 MB
          HL-DT-ST DVDRW  GS21N 
USB Information:
          Apple Inc. Built-in iSight
          Apple, Inc. Apple Internal Keyboard / Trackpad
          Apple Computer, Inc. IR Receiver
          Logitech Logitech Cordless RumblePad 2
          Apple Inc. BRCM2046 Hub
                    Apple Inc. Bluetooth USB Host Controller
FireWire Information:
Thunderbolt Information:
Kernel Extensions:
          com.orderedbytes.driver.CMUSBDevices          (4.4.3)
          com.orderedbytes.driver.ControllerMateFamily          (4.4.3)
          com.Cvnt.nke          (2.1.2)
          com.Cvnt.driver.CvntDriver          (2.1.2)
          com.vara.driver.VaraAudio          (1.0.3)
Problem System Launch Daemons:
Problem System Launch Agents:
Launch Daemons:
          [loaded] com.adobe.fpsaud.plist
          [loaded] com.Cvnt.daemon.plist
          [loaded] com.macpaw.CleanMyMac2.Agent.plist
          [loaded] org.macosforge.xquartz.privileged_startx.plist
Launch Agents:
          [loaded] com.Cvnt.start.plist
          [loaded] com.hp.devicemonitor.plist
          [loaded] org.macosforge.xquartz.startx.plist
User Launch Agents:
          [loaded] com.adobe.ARM.202f4087f2bbde52e3ac2df389f53a4f123223c9cc56a8fd83a6f7ae.plist
          [loaded] com.google.keystone.agent.plist
          [loaded] com.macpaw.CleanMyMac2Helper.scheduledScan.plist
          [loaded] com.macpaw.CleanMyMac2Helper.trashWatcher.plist
          [loaded] com.valvesoftware.steamclean.plist
User Login Items:
          Covenant Eyes
          Caffeine
          HP Scheduler
3rd Party Preference Panes:
          Flash Player
          GamePadCompanionPrefPanel
          Perian
Internet Plug-ins:
          AdobePDFViewer.plugin
          AdobePDFViewerNPAPI.plugin
          DirectorShockwave.plugin
          Flash Player.plugin
          FlashPlayer-10.6.plugin
          iPhotoPhotocast.plugin
          JavaAppletPlugin.plugin
          QuickTime Plugin.plugin
          Silverlight.plugin
User Internet Plug-ins:
          Google Earth Web Plug-in.plugin
Bad Fonts:
          None
Top Processes by CPU:
               7%          HP Device Monitor
               7%          WindowServer
               3%          Google Chrome
               2%          EtreCheck
               0%          mds
               0%          Dock
               0%          fontd
               0%          ps
               0%          blued
               0%          SystemUIServer
Top Processes by Memory:
          135 MB             Google Chrome
          106 MB             mds
          57 MB              HP Device Monitor
          45 MB              WindowServer
          44 MB              Google Chrome Helper
          33 MB              coreservicesd
          29 MB              CalendarAgent
          29 MB              SystemUIServer
          29 MB              Finder
          29 MB              Dock
Virtual Memory Statistics
          1.89 GB            Free RAM
          1.15 GB            Active RAM
          230 MB             Inactive RAM
          486 MB             Wired RAM
          793 MB             Page-ins
          0 B                Page-outs