Calendar Meeting Invite from Outlook 2010 to iCal

Hello,
I am very VERY new to Macs and to be honest Calendar invites in general (Came from a Lotus Domino environment). I have come across an oddity that I am almost sure is related to the content of the .ICS file generated by Outlook and then sent to a mail user who uses an Apple Max OS X 10.7.3. (our Managing Director). It has resulted in me (IT for the company) buying an Apple Mac to try and troubleshoot. Sorrry for the Blurb
Working Scenario is
1. Use a Google email account and the Web interface to send a meeting invite to another Google homed account and that person uses a Mac as described.
2. Invite arrives and is automatically available in iCal with a tentative meeting (grey) event PLUS the notification panel in iCal showing an alert.
3. The notification Panel alert can then be used to Accept/decline the invite.
For the MD this is how he wants to work. As he gets numerous invites he can quickly scan down the notification alerts and access/decline as he goes. Rather than opening all of the email messages.
Failing Scenario is
1. Use an Outlook 2010 client to send the exact same invite to the same person at the same time (etc.)
2. Invite arrives in the Mac mail Box. BUT DOES NOT trigger iCal's notification panel
3. The Mac User needs to click on the attached .ICS file and if iCal is also visible you can see the notification alert appear
I have TextEdited both .ICS files and yes they are different. The general VCALENDAR elements are roughly the same but there differences with bits and pieces that a too numerous to mention. There is also all of the garbage with X- elements which I would think iCal will ignore anyway. I have tried hacking the failing .ICS when it arrives but that doesn't mimic the same type of flow and in the end I can't modify the .ICS files either as they are sent or arrive.
Yes, I have told the Outlook client to send using the iCalendar format for external recipients.
I was wondering if anyone had come across the same type of requirement or the same type of issue?
thanks in advance
Bruce.

I had the identical problem.  I still don't know how to sync the tasks, but here's how I did the contacts and calendar:
1.  Connect the 4s to the computer.
2.  Open iTunes.
3.  Click the iPhone box in the upper right corner.
4.  Click on the info tab.
5.  Hit the checkbox Sync Contacts with... and choose Outlook from the dropdown box.
6.  Ditto for Calendars.
7.  Hit Apply.
My problem was that originally, I wasn't getting the checkboxes.  I turned off the iCloud settings on the 4s.  That did the trick.

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