Don't want to pollute my ipad how can I selectively transfer data from mac mini?

I have had users on this computer that have downloaded questioanble resources. I have grandchildren and we like to play on my ipad I do not want any objectionalbe video on this ipad.  I also don't want to make my creative content available for duplication to a user who had hooked up their iphone.  I am attempting to start over with my ipad. I have tried to keep them off the main computer but I need safeguards since the user is opportunistic. They also have a better understanding and advantage I am however an administrator at least as much as much as my husband allows me. I believe this user could still manupulate via wireless or remote with her iphone. I want to stop her completely but I know to challenge this user completely would mean an esculation. I have seen my email with another adress attached . I sometimes put in the exact password and still find for a short period cannot get into e-mail an Apple password  might not work? Is there script I can see that would suggest a problem.

Your situation is a little bit confusing to me, but I will give this a try. I hope that I fully understand what you are trying to do.
There is no way that anyone can access your iPad wirelessly or remotely at all. It just is not possible to do that in iOS. Because of the sandboxed nature of the iOS, it will not allow that type of interaction. However, if your iPad has been "polluted" by another user or that user's content, you might want to totally erase the drive and start all over again, and not restore from a backup. Erase it and start all over again completely. You will still be able to download most if not all of your paid content again as long as you use the same Apple ID that you used to make the purchases.
Settings>General>Reset>Erase all content and settings will totally wipe the iPad clean and you will have to activate the device all over again. Don't restore from the backup when you get to the point during the activation where you are prompted to do so.
If you want to download all of your constant again, read this.
Downloading past purchases from the App Store ... - Support - Apple
Erasing your iPad and starting over again is pretty radical if you are not absolutely sure that this users has really sabotaged the device. Please make sure that you realize what you are doing, and if I am reading the situation incorrectly, please state that in your response.
What you are saying about this user having access to your computer is certainly concerning and without knowing what the circumstances surrounding her ability to do so, I can only recommend that you discuss this situation with your husband and take steps to prevent her from using it, or at least from using it without you being there to observe.

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