I've spent an hour plus googling this and none of the 'fixes' works. My custom ringtones show up fine in itunes but are grayed out in iphone when I try to sync. This just happened when I synced my phone: previously worked fine.

I've spent an hour on this: massively frustrating. My custom ringtones disappeared from iphone when I just sync'd and now show up in itunes/iphone interface (on the mac) grayed out: won't sync to phone. I know the audio files work because they were fine two hours ago! (iphone 5 running 8.1.3)

I had this problem too after i upgdatd to OS X Mavericks... only the songs on my iphone 5s that i purchased from itunes would play.
i read something about it being a syncing issue. when you plug your phone into your computer with the usb cable, the person said to switch from automatic syncing of itunes to the "manual" option. mine was already set to manual so i wasn't sure anything would work. BUT, when i plugged my phone into my computer, it started to sync all of my music on my phone again (top of itunes bar where song playing/time is listed said "now syncing 123/534 songs to x's iphone"). once that was completed, i checked the music app on my iphone and everything was back to normal!
so, i would suggest setting your music syncing settings to manual if you haven't tried that yet!
hope this helps!

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