My itunes and iphone are not working together. all my software is up to date. what i can do? i need to manage my phone!!

I'm getting extremely frustrated with my iphone and mac.
i have the iphone 4, and the mac is leopard.
I plugged my phone it to manage my music, and a message popped up saying i needed software 10.6.8 or higher.
so i downloaded the 10.7. it's still not working!
i have very little space left on my phone and i need to manage everything.
what do i do??
someone please help!!!!

We need clarification here.
Please don't just state version numbers, also state which software.  iTunes 10.7 requires OSX 10.6.8 or higher.  Leopard is OSX 10.5.8.  You have two alternatives right now.  One is to stay with Leopard for a while (ultimately you should upgrade) and install iTunes 10.6.3 which is the last version to work with Leopard.  This should work with iOS6 on an iPhone4.  The other is to call Apple and order OSX 10.6 (Snow Leopard) and upgrade the computer to 10.6.8 which will allow you to run iTunes 10.7.  The caveat is we know nothing about which computer you run and if it even can run any system higher than Leopard.
Here is iTunes 10.6.3
iTunes 10.6.3 - http://support.apple.com/kb/DL1575
If you want to try upgrading:
Get more information about your computer. Go to the Apple in the upper left corner of any window, then "About this Mac" and "More Info..."  Copy and paste the information here, but omit the serial number and Hardware UUID (if present).  If it says something about Intel or Core Duo or Core 2 Duo in the processor you can upgrade to Snow Leopard (assuming you have sufficient RAM/"memory").  If it says PPC or PowerMac, you cannot.
Kappy 08/2012 post on upgrading to Snow Leopard, then Lion or Mountain Lion -  https://discussions.apple.com/message/19401628 - including how to get Snow Leopard and Lion since Apple removed them from the online store. 
It would help when posting issues here if you would state exact error messages you see.  "It's still not working!" while a description of the situation does not speed us to a diagnosis of the underlying issue.

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