My wife and I share apple id but have our own phones, and now having trouble with imessage

My wife and I share apple id but have our own phones, and now having trouble with imessage. Sharing calenders, apps, music, contacts, etc...all great. But when we imessage each other. Our phones get confused and either not deliver message, or send it to and from itself.

Go to Settings > Facetime and you will see "You can be reached for video calls at:"
This should list your phone number (iPhone) and your email address (probably the gmail one).
And then an option for "Add another email..."
Choose that and enter your @me.com account and it'll send a verification email.
Same for iMessage: Settings > Messages > "Receive at" > Add Another Email
So you can be called by facetime and use iMessage through multiple email accounts yes.

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