Slow SSH and VNC

Hi!
I'm visiting my family at the moment, and tried to call home to my desktop from my laptop that I brought with me. I've tried to use both VNC and SSH, and both are extremely slow. I'm sitting on a 24/2 mbps-line at the moment, while my desktop is connected to a 10/10 mbps-line. VNC is just too slow be usable, and sometimes it freezes for a long time. SSH also feels very sluggish, and when I tried to copy a file with sshfs I got a speed of around 20 Kb/s. At first I though there was something wrong with the connection, but then I started apache on my desktop and downloaded a file over http, and the speed was stable around 900 Kb/s as it should be. A traceroute shows that the trafic goes directly from my familys ISP to my ISP, and ping shows times around 20 ms. So I can't understand why SSH and VNC is so slow, and I don't even know where to begin troubleshooting. If anyone have any suggestions on what might be wrong I would be very grateful.
Both of my computers run Arch64, and my desktop is connected via cable to a router while my laptop uses wireless (Intel 4965), also to a router. The routers are pretty much identical, both being Asus WL-500G Premium with DD-WRT firmware. The necessary ports are of course open, and I use port 2200 for SSH and 5900 for VNC.

Could be one of the isps doing QoS on anything not http based traffic. Comcast sometimes _appears_ at least to be slowing down some of my non-http traffic for instance...
Could be packet loss.
Could be a busy neighborhood loop on a cable network (if that is what one end is..).
Could be.. just about anything...
Run iperf on both ends or something, and see what it says..
Look at tcpdump output (or wireshark).
poke around. try some stuff.
*shrugs*

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