What I want from BT, and what they've done wrong (...

Question

I've recently come back to BT from different phone and broadband providers because I wanted BT Infinity. My experience so far has been pretty bad. I'll explain later, but firstly here's what I want from BT.
Most importantly I want a 24 hour helpdesk, based in the UK staffed by technically trained people who can actually do something about my problem or at least give the correct details if it is a general outage.
I want control over my internet connection. I want to be able to see the line stats and status of my modem (you can't with BT Infinity) and I want to be able alter my speed profile and the parameters of my line to suit my own tolerance for speed vs. reliability.
Ideally I want to ring up and talk to a real person in the UK about anything unless it's really trivial and easily automated (balance inquiry, paying a bill etc.).
When I have reported a fault or am having problems with the ordering process I want to be able to get through to the team dealing with my problem easily rather than via the torturous calling menu and a different department each time.
I want communications from BT to make sense and be consistent. This includes emails, the call menu and any recorded messages.
I want the recorded status message updated more frequently.
Here are my experiences since ordering my BT service in November:
I tried to order Infinity (and phone line transfer)) four times. I had to do this over the phone as the website wouldn't work. Each time I was told I could have infinity and each time I got a very impersonal email telling me I couldn't. I think because I had Broadband and phone from different suppliers and the system couldn't handle taking over the line and ordering Infinity at the same time. Eventually I successfully ordered it but only because BT insisted I have a new line put in (presumably to get around the problem in their ordering process.
I got Infinity installed OK and all was working fine but now no longer had my phone number. Then I had a farce where my previous provider, TalkTalk, kept failing to cancel my old line so I couldn't get the number back. I was never sure why BT couldn't just take the line back as I thought there was a process for this.
During this process I spoke with BT India a couple of times to explain they could go ahead (thinking that TalkTalk had released the line). They were very polite and everything seemed to be proceeding until I got an email telling me I was indeed getting a new number, but not my old one just some random one and I was going to be charged £25 for the pleasure.
Cutting a long story short I got my old number back on January 2nd having been without it since November 15th. Thanks to Margret @ BT who was genuinely helpful.
My BT infinity speed is a vast improvement over my own line, however at 23Mb it's nowhere near the max (I'm quite close to the box) and it drops much lower during peak hours (it varies but it's been mostly around 6-14Mb).
Just recently the service has failed twice. The first time I called the "help" desk and was put through to an Indian call centrel. It was about 1am on a weekday (I'm a night owl) and the chap told me that the Infinity helpdesk was closed (WTF, are we only allowed to have faults during the day?). He then went away and told me that there was a problem in my area. I checked online via my phone and none was mentioned, some time later a problem did appear online in the Londond area but still nothing about my area (Chelmsford, Essex). I still have no idea what the problem was.
Then it went down again last night (Sunday) again late in the evening (12.30am), this time I got put throught to a recorded message that told me the helpdesk was closed, not even an Indian call centre to talk to and then it promptly hung up on me.
The first time it went down my wife was without broadband (which I'm paying for) all day. I got home and reset the router and it came to life. I'm not sure if the broadband was down or the router just needed resetting. This was particularly annoying as there seems to be no way of knowing when it is back without resetting the router every 10 minutes until it works. Especially outside of hours as there is NO HELP AVAILABLE.
Yesterday I called the status line and was given the hilarious message, which was roughly "There are currently no problems with the BT network. There are problems with the BT network in the Birmingham area. If you want further information please go to www.bt.com/...". Firstly is there or isn't there a problem, and how the **bleep** can I go to "www.bt.com/..." when my internet is down.
Basically if it's outside BT's convenience then I can't get any problem addressed. Totally useless, totally unacceptable, the Internet does not shut in the evening BT!!!
Another amusing one was trying to get caller ID back on my line. Again the website didn't work so I ended up calling. I eventually got throught to a message that said "Press 1 to order a free service, Press 2 to order a premium service, Press 3 to order a special service" (or something like that). How the **bleep** do I know which category caller ID fits into?
The whole experience has been frustrating which is a shame because I  want BT to succeed, I want them to supply me with a great service and I'd be happy to pay (even more) for that. As the saying goes, you measure how good a company is by what they do when things go wrong...
It's obvious that BT have some good staff, everyone has been polite and on the surface seemed helpful and when you finally do get to someone is a position to help things eventually get sorted (thanks Margret).
Why is it that communication companies are the absolute worst at communicating?
Anyone agree, have similar experiences?
Rant Over!
LJ

Answer 1

The outage you refer to was a major network fault last night nothing to do with maintenance it affected a large part of the Midlands and south England also a planned outage took place as well
these dialling codes were affected for the planned outage
01277, 01296, 01438, 01442, 01491, 01494, 01582, 01707, 01708, 01727, 01737, 01753, 01767, 01895, 01923, 0203010, 0203073, 0203080, 0203113, 0203114, 0203118, 0203132, 0203205, 0203209, 0203210, 0203219, 0203226, 0203261, 0203264, 0203266, 0207034, 0207121, 0207168, 0207209, 0207221, 0207224, 0207229, 0207243, 0207255, 0207258, 0207266, 0207286, 0207289, 0207313, 0207323, 0207348, 0207355, 0207361, 0207368, 0207371, 0207376, 0207381, 0207384, 0207385, 0207386, 0207402, 0207408, 0207409, 0207436, 0207460, 0207467, 0207471, 0207491, 0207493, 0207495, 0207499, 0207535, 0207565, 0207580, 0207586, 0207598, 0207602, 0207603, 0207610, 0207616, 0207629, 0207631, 0207636, 0207637, 0207706, 0207722, 0207723, 0207724, 0207725, 0207727, 0207751, 0207792, 0207795, 0207813, 0207835, 0207907, 0207908, 0207912, 0207937, 0207938, 0207985, 0208177, 0208200, 0208201, 0208205, 0208207, 0208222, 0208230, 0208248, 0208292, 0208327, 0208342, 0208351, 0208354, 0208357, 0208358, 0208362, 0208363, 0208364, 0208366, 0208367, 0208381, 0208385, 0208400, 0208416, 0208420, 0208421, 0208422, 0208423, 0208424, 0208426, 0208427, 0208428, 0208429, 0208453, 0208482, 0208515, 0208537, 0208550, 0208551, 0208561, 0208563, 0208566, 0208567, 0208569, 0208571, 0208573, 0208574, 0208576, 0208579, 0208581, 0208589, 0208606, 0208621, 0208723, 0208732, 0208735, 0208740, 0208741, 0208742, 0208743, 0208744, 0208746, 0208748, 0208749, 0208752, 0208756, 0208762, 0208797, 0208810, 0208811, 0208813, 0208834, 0208838, 0208840, 0208843, 0208846, 0208848, 0208861, 0208863, 0208864, 0208866, 0208867, 0208868, 0208869, 0208893, 0208896, 0208905, 0208907, 0208909, 0208917, 0208924, 0208930, 0208931, 0208932, 0208933, 0208951, 0208952, 0208953, 0208954, 0208959, 0208961, 0208963, 0208965, 0208966, 0208991, 0208992, 0208993, 0208997, 0208998, 20326, 20734, 20737, 20760, 20761, 20775,
and these by the network outage
01132, 01142, 01158, 01159, 01162, 01163, 01179, 01189, 01204, 01205, 01206, 01208, 01209, 012120, 012121, 012123, 012124, 012125, 012131, 012132, 012133, 012134, 012135, 012136, 012137, 012141, 012142, 012143, 012144, 012145, 012146, 012147, 012148, 012150, 012151, 012152, 012153, 012155, 012156, 012158, 012160, 012161, 012162, 012163, 012164, 012166, 012168, 012169, 012170, 012171, 012173, 012174, 012178, 01223, 01224, 01225, 01226, 01229, 01236, 01237, 01239, 01242, 01244, 01246, 01249, 01252, 01253, 01254, 01255, 01257, 01260, 01267, 01269, 01270, 01274, 01275, 01276, 01278, 01279, 01280, 01283, 01285, 01286, 01291, 01292, 01294, 01295, 01296, 01297, 01299, 01302, 01304, 01320, 01323, 01326, 01327, 01329, 01332, 01344, 01349, 01352, 01353, 01364, 01366, 01367, 01373, 01376, 01384, 01386, 01389, 01392, 01394, 01395, 01405, 01406, 01407, 014144, 014155, 014163, 014164, 014176, 014177, 014181, 014188, 01422, 01423, 01427, 01432, 01434, 01436, 01437, 01442, 01443, 01446, 01451, 01452, 01453, 01454, 01455, 01458, 01460, 01472, 01475, 01476, 01480, 01484, 01488, 01492, 01494, 01495, 01497, 01505, 01507, 01509, 015125, 015132, 015134, 015135, 015142, 015143, 015149, 015164, 015165, 01522, 01526, 01527, 01530, 01531, 01535, 01536, 01538, 01543, 01544, 01545, 01546, 01547, 01554, 01555, 01558, 01559, 01562, 01564, 01565, 01568, 01570, 01572, 01582, 01588, 01594, 01597, 01600, 01603, 01604, 01606, 01608, 016132, 016133, 016149, 016162, 016164, 016165, 016173, 016176, 016179, 016181, 016183, 016194, 016197, 01623, 01625, 01626, 01629, 01630, 01631, 01633, 01635, 01636, 01639, 01646, 01647, 01652, 01654, 01656, 01666, 01670, 01672, 01673, 01675, 01676, 01684, 01685, 01686, 01691, 01692, 01694, 01695, 01698, 01704, 01706, 01709, 01724, 01733, 01736, 01743, 01744, 01745, 01746, 01749, 01752, 01753, 01754, 01756, 01758, 01761, 01763, 01765, 01772, 01773, 01777, 01780, 01782, 01785, 01788, 01789, 01792, 01793, 01795, 01805, 01823, 01824, 01827, 01829, 01840, 01842, 01854, 01858, 01865, 01872, 01873, 01874, 01883, 01884, 01886, 01888, 01889, 01895, 01900, 01902, 01905, 01908, 01909, 019126, 019138, 01920, 01922, 01924, 01925, 01926, 01928, 01933, 01934, 01938, 01939, 01942, 01945, 01947, 01948, 01949, 01952, 01954, 01963, 01969, 01970, 01971, 01974, 01978, 01982, 01984, 01989, 01993, 01994, 0207275, 0207380, 0207383, 0207387, 0207791, 0208427, 0208554, 0208591, 0208692, 0208759, 0208861, 0208863, 0239225, 0239234, 0239236, 0239242, 0239243, 0239245, 0239247, 0239248, 0239249, 0239261, 0239264, 0239271, 0239275, 0247622, 0247623, 0247625, 0247626, 0247627, 0247632, 0247633, 0247634, 0247635, 0247636, 0247637, 0247638, 0247639, 0247641, 0247643, 0247644, 0247645, 0247649, 0247652, 0247655, 0247659, 0247660, 0247661, 0247662, 0247663, 0247664, 0247665, 0247667, 0247669, 0247671, 0247672, 0247673, 0247674, 0247676, 0247683, 0247684, 0284372, 0288774, 0289181, 0289182, 0289447, 0292016, 0292019, 0292020, 0292021, 0292022, 0292023, 0292025, 0292030, 0292031, 0292033, 0292034, 0292037, 0292038, 0292039, 0292040, 0292041, 0292045, 0292046, 0292047, 0292048, 0292049, 0292051, 0292052, 0292054, 0292059, 0292061, 0292062, 0292063, 0292064, 0292065, 0292066, 0292068, 0292069, 0292070, 0292071, 0292072, 0292073, 0292074, 0292075, 0292076, 0292077, 0292079, 0292080, 0292083, 0292084, 0292085, 0292086, 0292088,
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